I sent a Venmo to BevMo to say thanks for the suds
Ya gave a great buzz to me and my buds
I sent a PayPal to the great gal at the Costco store
And the lady with the grape tree on the vineyard tour
All wanna do is show my gratitude and
If I ever meet Tom Collins
I'd like to shake his hand
Ya got me drunk, man
Ya got me sloshed, dude
Ya got me tanked, Tommy
Ya got me blotto, buddy boy
Oh, you got me right where ya want me
In the drunk tank
Home sweet home
I'd go to hell and back for a Sazerac
I'd thank you warmly for a Dark n' Stormy
I'd slip you a fiver for another Screwdriver
And leave a mondo tip for a Mint Julep
If ya know what i mean, I know you know what i mean, and
If I ever meet Tom Collins
I'll kiss him on the lips
And squeeze his little hips
Do some twirls and dips
Hold him in my grips
To thank him for the sips
Because they got me
Oh yeah they got me
Three sheets to the wind
Land ho
I'll send an Edible Arrangement
To my travel agent
'Cause they had free booze
On my Carnival Cruise
Hey kid, can ya tell me what's Australian for beer
And then what's Australian for puke cuz I just chundered here
If you know what i mean, dear God, do ya know what i mean?
And
If I ever meet Tom Collins
We'll have to get a room
And I'll make him my groom
With a big house full of children
And a future that we're building
We'll grow old, God willin'
Cuz you got me
Oh yeah, you got me
Got me drunk now, Tom
