Here for the Beer

Well, Tim, Jeff and me went to the Hollywood Hills Up to a famous bigshot's party, serving cocaine and pills All the beautiful people snorting lines by the mile Hopped up supermodels doing their drugs in style There was a bowl full of benzies, pot as big as trees A mountain of cocaine but we forgot our skis The host of the party sauntered up to our side, he said "Hey Sloppy Boys! Wanna go for a ride? I got mescaline and shrooms, morphine and weed Uppers and downers, meth and L.S.D. I can make you three fly, you just tell me what you need" So I leaned in close and said, "Now listen to me" We're here for the beer We're here for the beer Get those other drugs out of here We're here for the beer He led us to the keg and he handed us some cups But no one else was drinking, hey, more for us Three chicks came on over, they were the perfect shape and size They said, "We like to laugh and you seem like funny guys" Well, we all got to talking, maybe this party didn't suck They were single, ready to mingle and we're guys who like to fuck The blonde one said, "This is boring and, uh, we're going to run Back to our house with a hot tub and do you want to come?" I leaned in close and put my lips to her ear and said "Sorry, honey, but didn't you hear?" We're here for the beer We're here for the beer Let me make this crystal clear We're here for the beer We like our beer in a keg or a cup We don't do drugs that shit will mess you up We're here for the beer Now the three of us don't hold our liquor well A few cups of beer and we're drunk as hell As the night went on, we sort of fell apart A supermodel asked me, "Hey, did you just fart?" I said "What's it to you? It's a natural thing" But her boyfriend shoved my shoulder And said, "Yeah, but it really stinks" I looked to Tim and Jeff, "Hey boys, we're gonna brawl" But Jeff was by a shelf with an autographed baseball The owner chewed him out, "Come on Jeff, that's not a toy" Tim was talking to Rob Lowe, he kept calling him Roy At this point, I had lost my hat and car keys But I couldn't drive anyway, shit, I could barely see We found a guitar and sang 'Piano Man' But the guests wouldn't join us, they suggested we scram Scram, you mean leave? But we barely quenched out thirst Besides if you want us to leave, you'll have to catch us first We're here for the beer We're here for the beer Get those other drugs out of here We're here for the beer We're here for the beer We're here for the beer Let me make it perfectly fucking clear We're here For The Beer