Grandma Jimmy

Cultivated mystique is kinda alright especially if you're a boy And no one knows you've got three balls Being split into a shamrock by a thong, Grandma Jimmy has a funny har har sense of humour Which she uses to embarrass her son in laws on their birthdays - She wishes them to be body builders that body board in speedos... She likes to take them to Devon for a picnic, Bringing Tin foiled wrapped tuna white bagel sandwiches Dripping in anchor butter which had gotten gloopy Because she almost, because she almost, Because the almost dead smelling dog's warm belly Had passed out on her husband's bought basket (Who is now dead) In the boot of the car... The dog was feeling car sick and so was everybody else Except for Jimmy of course because she was driving... Her driving was awful!! Granny J slowed down every time she spoke Which pissed everybody off, Although they loved her she was very very annoying She just spoke about things she had already said Like to the point where everyone concerning her slade by fate Could smell the off yogurt from the fridge Wafting into the living room! When they got to the beach, Jack the youngest felt depressed Because he hated pebbly beaches and was expecting a sandy one After the shock of his realisation He couldn't resist himself and said out loud 'Fuck I wanna get back to London... like now' Jimmy snapped back 'You ugly fat brat you may leave after I have photographed you'