Nomad's Tale, Pt. 3 (Survivor's Guilt)

This one ain't for you man this is mine You just happen to be on my mind Every time I take the time to write But for the first time in a long time I can say I'm fine Cos it's sunny outside I will be alright It's sunny outside I miss you - more than I'm willing to admit I try to - but I will never forget You were my summer,you were my winter You were my always down for whatever But seasons they changed And the wind blew away All the feelings we had The attention we paid To the wrong signs On the wrong side Of the bed I could see exactly what was going to happen This ain't Clark Kent and lead I knew better, shoulda done better Shoulda said goodnight instead My conscious was saying no I could hear its voice in my head I said screw that, then I screwed you Then I lost my best friend Was it worth it? Can't reverse it Would I do it again? If I'm a writer and I wrote this Would I like how this ends? I know it hurt and to make it worse Whole time I had a girlfriend This one ain't for you man this is mine You just happen to be on my mind Every time I take the time to write But for the first time in a long time I can say I'm fine Cos it's sunny outside I will be alright It's sunny outside I miss you - more than I'm willing to admit I try not to - but I tend to regret That I moved away and you had to stay And I had to watch from miles away The things that they do the things that they say They're hurting your heart and confusing your brain As you watch em fight and you heard the lies In the dead of night, you scream silent cries I wasn't there to dry your eyes I wasn't there to say good bye When he chose to dip and the house was split Even further than it was before It was two kids here and two kids there then suddenly one more I wasn't sleeping, my heart was aching from my own cup I wanted to pour The love and hope I have for you but I always felt that you needed more Big brother was gone so who's watching you? When you need to vent who are you talking to? It hurts my chest, I text less and less cos that sh*t gets too painful I'm out here tryna do better, get a job and get a house too So all y'all can come through and live together under one roof This one ain't for you man this is mine You just happen to be on my mind Every time I take the time to write But for the first time in a long time I can say I'm fine Cos it's sunny outside I will be alright It's sunny outside