Merry Christmas From the Family

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk At our Christmas party We were drinking champagne punch And homemade egg-nog Little sister brought her new boyfriend He was a Mexican We didn't know what to think of him 'Til he sang "Feliz Navidad, Feliz Navidad" Brother Ken brought his kids with him The three from his first wife Lynn And the two identical twins From his second wife Mary Nell Of course he brought his new wife Kay Who talks all about AA Chain smoking while the stereo plays "Noel, Noel, The First Noel" Carve the Turkey, turn the ball game on Mix margaritas when the egg-nog's gone Send somebody to the Quickpak Store We need some ice and an extension chord A can of bean dip and some Diet Rites A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights Hallelujah, everybody say, "Cheese" Merry Christmas from the family Fred and Rita drove from Harlingen I can't remember how I'm kin to them But when they tried to plug their motor home in They blew our Christmas lights Cousin David knew just what went wrong So we all waited out on our front lawn He threw the breaker and the lights came on And we sang "Silent Night, oh Silent Night" Carve the turkey, turn the ball game on Make Bloody Mary's 'cause we all want one Send somebody to the Stop 'N Go We need some celery and a can of fake snow A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprites A box of tampons and some Salem Lights Hallelujah, everybody say, "Cheese" Merry Christmas from the family Feliz Navidad