The Ballad of Hamantha

Life's extension lottery Kind to some, but not to thee Born with a rare and sad disease She grew (a ham) where her head should be Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie Meaty face and a lovely eye Dream was to be a famous star But at the rate she was goin', she wasn't going fa-a-ar Hamantha, Hamantha You were impossible to ignore Hamantha, Hamantha So greedy we wanted more (Oh no!) Her father was a simple man (duh!) He wanted to help, "in any way that I can!" Home from school, he watched his daughter cry In the yard, he cursed God and fired at the sky Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie Meaty face and a lovely eye Her dreams in the sky, her father felt her pain And as he shot at the clouds, it began to rain Hamantha, Hamantha You were impossible to ignore Hamantha, Hamantha So greedy we wanted more Got a call from the doctor He had some amazing news for her He just developed a cure If she hurried over now, he'd try it out on her Burst out the door, she was beaming Among the raindrops, her happy tears were streaming Finally freed from her pain But something else fell with the rain A stray bullet shot by her father Aimlessly nested inside her She fell to the the sidewalk, now empty Of the life which once christened her body "Nurse, s-she's... she's gone" "O-oh... oh dear" "I left a lunch on the table in the operating room for the bereaved, a cooked ham, as is customary for these... dark situations" "U-uh, Doctor, what... which one is the... which... which one is the ham that-?" "I-I must... I must go... I must... I must go, I'm on break" "Oh dear" Flowing hair, she was a cutie pie Meaty face and a lovely eye At her time of death The Doc' said "time to eat!" So we took a bite out of her face meat Hamantha, Hamantha You were impossible to ignore (la-la-oh...) Hamantha, Hamantha So greedy, we wanted more Soaring infinitely through space Hamantha's soul was graced With a glance of our humble planet At which she was amazed The news of her untimely death Had spread out near and far And through her soul, the truth was whole The dream had crossed the bar Hamantha had become a star Hamantha was finally a star Hamantha had become a star Hamantha was finally a star