Glorious Gluteus Maximus

There's a little room for my bum That I call the fartitorium It's where I go when butt gas flows So those vapors can go up my nose Those fumes make my olfactory Feel groovy and satisfactory But too much of the aroma Inhaled may put me in a coma You should always care For your derriere Your bum is your chum Make it feel welcome When you're lonesome talk to you butt After your bum toots ask it 'say what?' Or after a fart say it's smart After a toot say 'very astute' For alas, your ass is not crass It passes gas but it has got class If you hear noise come from your bum It is just trying to sing and hum If you feel whiny Talk to your hiney If you're in a slump Converse with your rump You should never fuss And should never cuss At your glorious Gluteus maximus If you think that your butt smells bad It's prob'ly from the food that you had If it stinks and gives you a frown Remember that it lets you sit down If you feel like taking a dump You'll be happy that you have a rump It's fun to strut and spin around Chasing your butt just like you're a hound You should not spank it But instead thank it Let's throw some parties For our fine farties You should never fuss And should never cuss At your glorious Gluteus maximus