No Sex

{Ladies and gentlemen of the GED class of 1999 I have one piece of advice for you No matter what a stripper tells you There's no sex in the champagne room None} {Oh there's champagne in the champagne room But you don't want champagne, you want sex And there's no sex In the champagne room} Don't go to parties with metal detectors Sure it feels safe inside, but what about All those niggaz waitin' outside with guns? They know you ain't got one If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12 If she tells you she's 26, and looks 26, she's damn near 40 Take off that silly-ass hat The O.D.B. couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes Coolio did some of that shit Young black men, if you go to a movie theater And someone steps on your foot, let it slide Why spend the next twenty years in jail 'Cause someone smudged your Puma? Cornbread, ain't nuttin' wrong with that No matter what you think of what I'm sayin' Remember this one thing There is no sex In the champagne room No sex in the champagne room No sex in the champagne room No sex in the champagne room No sex in the champagne room No sex in the champagne room No sex in the champagne room Absolutely, positively, no sex in the champagne room If a homeless person, has a funny sign He hasn't been homeless that long A real homeless person Is too hungry, to be funny If a girl has a pierced tongue She'll probably suck your dick If a guy has a pierced tongue He'll probably suck your dick Here's a horoscope for everyone Aquarius, you're gonna die Capricorn, you're gonna die Gemini, you're gonna die twice Leo, you're gonna die Scorpio, you're gonna die fucking Ohh yeah No one goes to hooters for wings No no no If you've been dating a man for four months And you haven't met any of his friends You are not his girlfriend Some of the things I've said may not apply to you Some of the things I've said may offend you But no matter who you are, you must remember this one thing No matter what a stripper says There's no sex in the champagne room None No sex in the champagne room Said no sex in the champagne room No sex in the champagne room No no sex in the champagne room No sex in the champagne room Can't get none Can't have none In the champagne room Said there's absolutely, positively No sex in the champagne room Said no, no Said no Said Chris said. There ain't no sex In the champagne room No no no Can't get none Can't have none