Story of My Life

Alright, when I call your name step forward Pinocchio, the puppet I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy That's your patch of mud down there Oh, dropped on a swamp, man, I tell you Sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap Life is disappointing Whoa, is what I know Outted by my nose That's just how it goes for poor Pinocchio Story of my life, always doomed to fail Cheated by a fox, swallowed by a whale That's the story of my life, oh yeah That's the story of my life Strife is never ending Peter Pan Banished from the town Ugly Duckling They dragged me from the pond They pulled my magic wand They blew our condos down Wicked Witch Life is but a witch hunt Mama's in the mud Mama's in distress They ridiculed my hat They said that we were fat They tore my cotton granny dress And called me a hot and tranny mess Sugar Plum Fairy Story of my life Booted from the ball Told to go away Tumbled off a wall That's the story of my life You're late rabbit That's the story of my life Have fun you guys That's the story of my life And remember if we find you back in the kingdom You will be executed I always dreamed I'd have a happy ending And this right here, not how it goes I always dreamed I'd get an ever after If this is it, it blows, it blows, it blows This is worse than that case Of Dutch elm disease I caught in Tijuana Story of my life All the wasted prayers All the broken dreams All the broken chairs All the damage done All the busted beds All the shattered falls And the porridge on our heads That's the story of my life, yes, sir That's the story of my life That's the story of my life, crap