JAP Battle (feat. Rachel Bloom & Rachel Grate)

This is real deep beef from way back in the past Deeper than I'll put a foot up in the crack of your ass Come on, let's do this Your little pals can witness How vicious This Westchester alpha bitch is I'm straight up malicious A verbal curb stomper Since we were toddlers I've studied every chink in your armor And between your folks' divorce and that haircut on ya I'm really not sure which one's the bigger shondeh That means "disgrace" I'm translating for the goys Our life lines have been parallel like corduroys But no, we'll see whose bars will prevail In this beef of two hard-as-nails shebrews from Scarsdale We've got a conflict of interest I'm about to give Levine the business Spttin' venomous hate Penetratin' her defenses It's a JAP Battle A what? (A Jewish-American princess) Rap battle (Daughters of privilege) Spittin' mad flow (Find that term offensive?) Too bad, yo Oh snap, it's a JAP battle rap Look Academically, you could never catch me You were close, but no match scholastically No how, no way, I put the OG In 5.0 GPA Well, speaking of which, are you AP graded? 'Cause these days, you look a bit heavily weighted And all your book crackin' don't make up for the fact That I'm strapped with that killer instinct that you lack Sweetheart, here's what you're not understanding I'm street smart You mean 'cause you minored in urban planning? Bitch, I know you That tough act's a bluff So sheket bevaka, shut the fuck up Your temper, you lost it Aw, cute Like you're gonna lose this lawsuit But here's one category where you have no rival Blowing frat guys with your A. E. Pi-Hole And I banged your hedge-fund manager fiancé Back in college over winter holidays Bathroom stall at the Matzo Ball and honestly, I gotta say Really not hot at all Small dick, rotten lay (This is) A JAP battle (Bane of my existence) You're an asshole From Golden's Bridge To North Castle Wipe you off the map in this JAP battle rap Bunch, you're a curse, you're a blight We were frenemies at first spite Think your verse is tight? Then you're trippin' like Birthright I'll wipe the mirth right off your fugly mug And fill you full of slugs Like a straight up thug Uh, that word is racist Someone oughta tell you Like me I belong to the ACLU Spare me I'm a card-carrying member Plus, I spent a semester in Kenya, remember? Well, I volunteered in Ghana Well, I guess that makes us equal Well, it's settled then We're both cool with black people 'Cause we're liberals Duh Progressive as hell Though, of course, I support Israel Audra, wait We share so many traits Should we shake hands and erase the hate Created by our mothers pitting us against each other For accolades and grades? We were egged on like Seder plates Nah In summation, you left New York for this fuckin' shtetl And now you're like, "oh Audra, let's settle" You wanna get salty like the dead sea? Word But call off this suit, or you're dead, C-word