Blame on Me

Mama getting high up in the kitchen Daddy wasn't there, he was missing Nobody was there to even listen I kept all my problems and kept feelings hidden, yeah And I put the blame on me I put the blame on me I put the blame on me Only ten years old I'm already numb, yeah my heart's getting cold Saw my mama getting weaker, hurt me to my soul The only man she loved, how could he do this to his girl He put that pistol to her head I swear he coulda shot her dead Man that liquor made him evil I swear that man ain't had no reason That s- just turned him to a demon, yeah Fast forward a couple years I done turned twelve Living life one hell to the next hell I got cousins touching me inappropriately And don't nobody believe me when I tell When you learn that shit heals, ain't no one to look up to And the same people hurting you telling they love you Before too long you start believing That maybe you're the reason, yeah Mama getting high up in the kitchen Daddy wasn't there, he was missing Nobody was there to even listen I kept all my problems and kept feelings hidden, yeah And I put the blame on me I put the blame on me, yeah I put the blame on me Age fourteen, left East St. Louis New drama but I really ain't new to it Hear 'em laughing at lunchtime and I'm the joke Black and white was too black for the white folks I can't do nothing 'bout my face Feeling all outta place Over something I can't control F- is wrong with these people? Or is it something wrong with me though? Yeah Age sixteen, life's still mean Mama fell hard, needed rescuing She got a new man, he told her simply She could stay with him long as she don't bring me I guess she had to make a choice Did what she had to do Chose him over her own kid I don't know what would make her do this Had to be something I did, ooh Mama getting high up in the kitchen (Eh) Daddy wasn't there, he was missing (Eh) Nobody was there to even listen (Yeah, yeah) Kept all my problems and kept feelings hidden, yeah (Ooh) yeah And I put the blame on me (Blame on me) I put the blame on me (Ooh) yeah I put the blame on me (Blame on me) I was homeless 'till I turned eighteen Started living with a man I was dating Last thing on my mind was graduating All about survival and money-making I would sing to escape my reality Just tryna play the cards God dealt me Posted myself singing a song 'cause it was on my heart When it went viral I was working in Walmart I got a new start Taking my pain, turning it into art Turning bad times into hot sounds For the first time where I belong Twenty now, making moves, making money now Rainy days hella sunny now But every now and then I think about Mama getting high up in the kitchen (Eh) Daddy wasn't there, he was missing (Eh) Nobody was there to even listen (Yeah, yeah) I kept all my problems and kept feelings hidden, yeah (Ooh) yeah And I put the blame on me (Blame on me) I put the blame on me (Ooh) yeah I put the blame on me (Blame on me)