Trying to Breathe

I think I’m having a heart attack. I’ve done too much of what I shouldn’t have done. If I could, you know I would take it back. Wide awake and in a lot of pain. Im thinking I might not see the next day. Im hoping that I’ve got it in me to see this through. I say things that I cant take back. I torch bridges while I attack and compensate by laying myself out flat. I just hope I live long enough to be able to see you again, and I hope I don’t have to suffer the night without you at the end. I hate every second of the goddamn day. Give me anything you’ve got, I don’t care, its all the same. I need something to take so I don’t feel anymore. I need something stronger than the night before. I need it before its too late. When it hits me hard, I don’t even have a choice. The screaming is so loud I cant hear my own voice. Just make it go away. I just focus on trying to breathe. It feels like I’m having a heart attack.