Hello thanks for seeing me Doctor

It's wonderful to see you again

How’ve I been? Really?

Well god sure don’t you know me I’m grand

Ah sure I’m grand

What? Oh so why am I here?

Well, I thought that you might see I am a mess

Let me confess

Sometimes I want to sit on my own head

Cause my arse is so big I would definitely smother and be dead

Sometimes I feel so sad I beat myself then lie in bed

I cry til I am numb pull that duvet over my head

Sometimes I feel so hopeless I can’t see the point in life

So I just make a cup of tea and fantasize on jumping off the balcony

Oh I feel like shite oh hate my body with all my might

I empty reach at the vile thought of myself

Crying in the morning as I put my knickers on. This smile is killing me

That’s right I’m smiling

No I don’t look depressed or stressed

What does that mean? You think I’m coping?

Oh let me spell it out for you

Look, I have nothing to offer a man or a friend or a cat or a dog or a job or a group or a goat or this earth did I mention a man! I am sad and alone

You say it’s sad that I am sad but sure we all have spells like this

Try walking jogging hydrate yoga buy a pet goldfish

You say that as I’m smiling sure I really can’t be bad

I’m a shaking sweating ogre woman welcome to my shitshow

Oh my life’s a mess oh living with a toxic ex

My career is crap and I can’t face going to work

So depression kicks my ass back in the door

The smile is gone I numb all day and can’t get off the floor

Watching Bake Off I feel nothing I am dead inside my core

Is that clearer for you than before?

Can’t cry at Queer Eye

This smile is killing me

Anything you can do doctor, counselling, the good drugs, can you prescribe a six months in The Maldives?

This smile is killing me