If you're a younger fan than I suggest you skip this track

I've danced around the subject, but I've never been this blunt in rap

I'm kind of scared of sharing, but it's something that I need to make

A tale of my trauma and a tale of my mistakes

When it all started I was at a party been touched by a man that I didn't know

I was a kid and then nobody liked me, so I was surprised after every stroke

Didn't resist and then after I felt kinda nice it was fine

I was like

"This is easy I don't need a woman, I might just continue and give this a go"

So next I'm online and I'm strolling through craigslist

I was too young so I lied 'bout my age it's

Clеar I was desperate was fuеled by self hatred

Next I was trading these photos I'm naked

Next thing I'm talking in ways that I shouldn't be

They say that they want to meet up and then I agree

Thought I was smart at the peak of maturity

Fuck was I not, I was stupid, I couldn't see

I entered his house it was okay

Just gonna touch and then go away

I take off my clothes, and he's locking the door, and I'm starting to panic, like,"No way"

The force of his grab pushed me back as he slammed down my body

I couldn't leave

I couldn't leave, his weight there on top of me

Head in the bed so I couldn't scream

I couldn't scream

Blinded by pain I remember the blood and I couldn't see

I couldn't see

The feeling of fear as it's driving inside and I couldn't breath

I couldn't breath, I couldn't breath

Thought I was dead, fuck, I couldn't leave

The moment is carved in my memory

And so there wasn't a day where it wouldn't bleed

Felt like it went on for centuries

Ripped me apart so incessantly

A monster devoid of all empathy

But when he finished, exhausted he fell asleep

He locked every exit, but one little window I think that he maybe forgot

I kept on thinking that I could've died if he didn't leave that one unlocked

I was in shock

I didn't want to tell anyone, I was embarrassed and lost

I was a child

Fuck, I was a child

What else could I possibly done?

I couldn't run, I couldn't sleep

It kept invading my dreams

It was a living hell

Blocked out my sense of smell

So, I could have just a moment of peace

Crippled by PTSD

I could be triggered by so many things

But the internet made being triggered a meme

Kept it inside, I just wanted to scream

Tortured my mind and it just wouldn't leave

Fucked up my school, fucked up my life

Fucked me right up, I would not go outside

Found myself wishing I could just be normal

No breaking down crying in bed every night

Bed every night, bed every night

Found myself crying in bed every night

I was a child

Fuck, I was a child

I was so scared that I wouldn't survive

Wouldn't survive, wouldn't survive

Stood in the tracks I was ready to die

Ready to let it all end

I was done being tortured by this kind of life