Privately Owned Spiral Galaxy

Thought cycle gusty, a mind filled with hot air Must I care for nothing more than myself? Do I dare admit the fraught thoughts cavorting? Resorting in inner-directed mourning For the part of me that was selfless, that left without a warning Well, that's what I said, but maybe it's the fact that I detest This obsession with myself that leaves a mess inside my head Oh shit, I'm doing it again, repelling any potential friend Revealing my innate ability to never fully comprehend Anything bigger than myself, but in the end I still pretend Condescend anyone polite enough to choose to misspend their time Watching me as I achieve my secret social mission To drain people with my boring stories and opinions To see the bigger picture takes intelligence and wisdom But I won't see nothing with just myself in my vision I go outside; a blitz of faces unwilling to confess to any empathy Endlessly, incessantly declining any pleasantries Heavily breathing, socially teething, I'm open like a vivisection Intense tendency to dwell, seething over misconnections Infected by my perceptions that I'm a non-entity Project my insecurity until intensity is weaponry Grieving a heavenly fiction I perceived whilst I was dreaming Awake, freezing, wheezing, fundamentally I'm still believing that This is an elegy for concepts I conceived in deep sleep As I helplessly watch them fade whilst I awake, I try and keep them alive Incomparable with life, but eventually they die And the brain I used to cultivate reveals my lovers were a lie But when inside my mind, I find a way to replicate reality Through lucid dreaming, I decimate the limitations of actuality Capacity practically eternal, mortality external No God, but I investigate the blasphemous worship of the nocturnal Internally existing without morality Creates profanities without the travesty And compared to the apathy of realness, I reveal my own insanity The majesty of fantasy protects me from tragedy Normality's effects traject the agony of rationality Which thankfully penetrates with no avail to my unreality An elaborately designed privately owned spiral galaxy Financially, I'm failing Naturally decaying Soon I'll have no place safe to sleep if these bills still need paying Displaying cravings with open eyes for something mind-expanding When I drift away, I see the totality of understanding