Fifty-One Twenty

My head my hands weigh as much as cinder blocks A place for peace waits for no one only a spot the broken mattress outlines my empty shell that can't stomach the sulfur from out of the well I lay alone by myself as a stranger lost inside the cavern of my bed I lay alone I lay alone I lay alone inside my head The rats and the roaches they beg me to breathe (I'm) Starving my self while they eat away at me Punish myself for surviving who I am Another day, another night where nothing can Help me see a man in the mirror and not just a husk of who I Used to be when sinking through oceans of longing for hurt to die There's no place I feel less at home than the place I decided to buy So I'll still behave just like my corpse in my bed and continue to Sink through deeper into you Letting the numb wash over is the sweetest emptiness I'll push through pretending life makes sense Nevermind there's no voice there to Help me see a man in the mirror and not just a husk of who I Used to be when sinking through oceans of longing for hurt to die There's no place I feel less at home than the place I decided to buy So I'll still just make like my corpse in my bed and continue to lie My dearest friend is the sound in the stillness keeping the skeletons bricked up in their closets Without a voice in their chest, just a rattle of bone inside my house And even though I'm the only cadaver left here with half a pulse I rot away with all of your ghosts as we lie