The Markiplier Rap

Who's a YouTube star we all admire? A drunken miner who just retired To become a part-time chef, plus a diver Hark the herald, it's Markiplier! A friend of Slender, and a star designer But he's not a doctor you'd want to hire (nope!) A gravitational law-defier He taught a gosh darn shark to fly, word! Like a bird, he'll drop a sky turd Amnesia - he forgot a lighter Mark's a guy who's one tough survivor But he'll run and hide because he's not a fighter Who's your daddy? Markiplier! An awesome father - not what I heard He met a hot ghost and tried to wife her Also, he's an awful biker Who likes to ride over sharpened items Not like it was hard to find 'em Sexy Mark can fill your heart's desires He'll pick up chicks and drop one-liners He's so hot, his hair could start a fire Don't be shocked if Mark is tired Like a guard who worked for five long all-nighters He's on the clock, someone start the timer Was that Foxy? Hope he's not a biter Nevermind, it was just Darkiplier Not gonna lie, it's hard to rhyme words When you got a name like Markiplier His Draw My Life had us all inspired I teared up and I'm not a crier I would rather light my farts on fire Than ever stop watching Markiplier That was weird, I'm gonna stop right there I sing the chorus while I dye my hair You've shocked, you've scared, you've surprised Just take us along for the ride When you laugh, we laugh And we've cried with you When you crap your pants You know we do too You're the man who's leading All of us down a dangerous road Remember when you start screaming That you will never scream alone Where'd he come from, where'd he go Nope, nope, nope, oh I'm so boned Nothing wrong here, all fine and dandy I'm the King of Five Nights at Freddy's Also known as the King of Squirrels And he's always smooth when he talks to girls "Hey baby, just so you know All you gotta do is press B to blow" Watch your back for the crazed butt stabber "I'm so brave!" That doesn't matter! Punch 'em straight in the gabba gabba Gotta go fast, go faster faster! How did his feet get spun around backwards? Why is he covered in pancake batter? Stand up, put your hands up If you're a fan of staring at bananas Boo! Jumpscares galore Don't break your chair and end up on the floor You do you, and I'll do me And we won't do each other, probably Having fun? I was starting to Til it became a dick-punching party dude Hosted by the one and only Markimoo What'd you eat? That's a lot of poo You've shocked, you've scared, you've surprised Just take us along for the ride When you laugh, we laugh And we've cried with you When you crap your pants You know we do too You're the man who's leading All of us down a dangerous road Remember when you start screaming That you will never scream alone Here's a look, far from weird Pink mustache, zero beard See this man, you'd best steer clear Sources say he should be feared He don't take no shit from nobody If you mess with him, you're gonna get bloody Oh no, he's dead! Wilford Warfstache knows what's best Markiplier's kinda like Slim Shady He's got a lotta faces, all of 'em are crazy They'll make you laugh They'll make you cry I will see you in the next video Bye-bye! You've shocked, you've scared, you've surprised Just take us along for the ride When you laugh, we laugh And we've cried with you When you crap your pants You know we do too You're the man who's leading All of us down a dangerous road Remember when you start screaming That you will never scream alone