Feel Better

I don't wanna feel better No one's ever gonna love me like that again I don't wanna get over you I wanna sit with you in bed I don't wanna feel better I'd give anything to miss you again I don't wanna get over it I wanna get under it instead A book sits on top of clean and messy blankets On a bed that fuckin' creaks at night when I get in it late And late at night, I'm chugging Gatorade And someone's breaking up when I crack up Because I know I'll never know just what to say I'm a communist, a terrorist, an MPDG thot Or I'm a sad girl in a dorm room, living out the shady Christian plot of Twilight or The Bible or The Lover by Duras Or I'm just really fuckin' selfish and really fuckin' lost But someone loved me, someone fucking loved me Someone fucking loved me and I fuckin' loved them too Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin' learned something I had my cake (I ate it, it ate me too and, God, no) I don't wanna feel better (I don't wanna feel better) (I'd give anything to miss you again) (I don't wanna get over it) (I wanna rip it to shreds) We kept our liquor in a suitcase underneath my bed And we drank it to go out or just stay in or to feel sad But in a hot way, a way I'll fuckin' never have again The sun has began to set I'm a socialist, Marxist, libertarian slut I am an awkward teenage virgin and I sort of kinda laugh a lot in bed But other times, I cry or don't make noise at all I'd give my life to have a room that feels that small 'Cause someone loved me, someone fucking loved me Someone fucking loved me, I loved them too Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin' earned something I have a right to die, a right to live, a right to choose, too And God, no! Of course I don't wanna feel better! Can you fucking imagine?! No one's ever gonna love me like that again I don't wanna get over it I wanna rip the stars to shreds I don't wanna feel better Of course it hurt, of course it fuckin' hurt It hurt like nothing in the world sometimes That I was super scared, and we were all a train-wreck And also somehow making it I think I might've died there twice, and I would do it all again I'm a nihilist, a soldier, an OCD-machine Or I'm a healthy baby-girl who traded sunshine for disease But when my head hit my cheap pillow, I could tell I had a heart And I wanna tear this fascist Milky Way apart 'Cause someone loved me, someone fuckin' loved me All my filthy life I loved someone I barely knew Goddamn it, I was worth something, I fuckin' learned something And it felt better in my mouth than fresh warm food I guess I loved you, I guess I really loved you All my filthy life I loved someone I barely knew And now you're over there, and I'm way over here What am I gonna do? I don't wanna feel better No one's ever gonna love me like that again I don't wanna get over you I wanna sit with you in bed I don't wanna feel better (I don't wanna feel better)