Fat Funny Friend

I break the ice So they don't see my size And I have to be nice Or I'll be the next punchline I'm just the best friend in Hollywood movies Who only exists to continue the story The girl gets the guy while I'm standing off-screen So I'll wait for my cue to be comedic relief Can't be too loud, can't be too busy If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me? Can't be too proud, can't think I'm pretty Do they keep me around so their flaws just seem silly? I say I'm okay 'Cause they wouldn't care anyway And I could try to explain But my effort's in vain, they can't relate to how I've Drawn out in Sharpie where I'd take the scissors If that's what it took for me to look in the mirror I've done every diet to make me look thinner So why do I still feel so goddamn inferior? Can't be too loud and can't be too busy If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me? Can't be too proud and can't think I'm pretty Do they keep me around so their flaws just seem silly? Life of the fat, funny friend Life of the fat, funny friend It's funny when I think a guy likes me And it's funny when I'm the one who says, "Let's go to eat" It's funny when I'm asked to go out on Halloween Dresses and thigh highs, while I hide my body Can't be too loud and can't be too busy If I don't answer now, are they still gonna miss me? Can't be too loud and can't be too busy If I don't answer now, are they still gonna need me? Can't be too proud and can't think I'm pretty Do they keep me around so their flaws just seem silly? Life of the fat, funny friend Life of the fat, funny friend Life of the fat, funny friend Life of the fat, funny friend I've drawn out in Sharpie where I'd take the scissors