Survivors Torment

No matter how many righteous deeds I commit My past failure lingers Frozen in that instance I can't seem to let go I guess I was never meant to be your hero Imprisoned in my own mind to relive your fate over and over again Do I want a way to escape or am I looking for you to take the blame Stagnant in a situation of your own design or is it mine I can no longer tell Is this situation of my own design To scared to face the issues that only I can comprehend Because I could realize that I'm the reason, The reason that you ended up dead These emotions I can't begin to explain These emotion are driving me insane You are the cause to it all; you were the cause to my fall I'm spiraling rapidly I can't seem to climb out The space between us has forever run out Grief fills the solace I once had I wish I could wipe the system I walk a wayward path to solve this crisis You were everything to me Why did you ask me to take your final breath I can't tell if I am moving forward or if I've regressed Broken does not describe how I am One day I hope I can put myself together Before I waste away in the end Why was I made to fulfill your last request Was it out of love or out of spitefulness Did you want me to carry the guilt of your death? Your casket holds the remains of the turmoil I sustained I wish I could replace you Replace you in that grave This casket I deserve it more than you do I wish the earth would embrace me So I could relinquish the memories I have of you