Archie & His Gang in: The Day of Atonement

I wanted a turtle real bad I asked my old man He said A man must go wanting The value of a dollar is the truth Can you earn it Come to shul on Yom Kippur Sit down stand up in scratchy clothes And read from a book filled with words you don't know And remember Treblinka REMEMBER YOU'RE WORSE THAN HITLER, DIG IT? When the shofar blows, God knows, if He's listening You can have a turtle Tekiah! Three turtles for twelve dollars down at Big Al's Aquarium Services I named 'em after the characters in an Archie Comics Magazine I put 'em in a tank on top of my dresser I too am a turtle on top of my dresser I suffer and move I bask in the heat I swim to the top for a raw piece of meat And I sink when I'm sick The Feeder is God—oh I hunger and long And my turtle stopped breathing And the shofar is blowing I fear for you, Betty I dream of you, Hitler I sent my old man to the showers, I'm sorry Shefarim! It's 3AM on a Thursday night I'm 15 on a Thursday night I'm on mushrooms on a Thursday night And the whole world is a turtle tank I go to my room I turn on the light Look over at Archie it gives me a fright Oh DAMN DADDY YUCK! Archie is dead HIS EYES ROLLED back in his head Cold Daddy DAMN! Death is a bust I remember Treblinka I weep for you, Betty I bag up my turtle (HEIL HITLER!) I'm sorry I'm dragging the shovel (Heil Hitler!) I'm coming I dig for you, Archie I dig for you, Tatte (Heil Hitler!) I'm sorry (Heil Hitler!) I'm sorry Entschuldig mir, Tatte, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Teruah! In '99 my Daddy ain't fine In 2010 man it happens again The monitor's beeping My mother is weeping I dream of you Archie, your spoon, and your bread I'm digging a hole, Veronica's dead A capo's on guard at the foot of the bed Archie I see your striped pyjamas Betty I see your sunken eyes The snow is crunching under my clogs I'm digging a hole for Veronica Lodge I'm torching the earth to soften the soil Tekiah Gadola! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry