I always thought that I woulda felt different

If I could accomplish my goals

But as I stare off the top of the mountain

I honestly never felt so alone

I never dealt with the demons inside of my head

I don't even know how I could cope

I just been taking my life like a day at a time

But it's been getting hard to ignore

Most of my time, I spend trapped in my mind

Feel like I can't breathe but know that I'm fine

So why do I feel like I'm dying?

I get so jealous when I look around and see everyone living a life without trying

I know it's nothing like mine

They say the pressure will make me a diamond

But pressure depressing, it feels like my life is defined

By the weight of the world on my spine

I tell my family I'm fine

I know that they know that I'm lying

I feint the heart of a lion

I got a chip on my shoulder

Can't break down and lose my composure

Way too bipolar

I know the world is my oyster

But yet, I'm too caught up in searching for closure

Look in my eyes and I know you see pain

All of the things that I've tamed

Made me feel empty, it's honestly strange

I think I only care about the chase

I think I'm caught up in another maze

Most of the time I wanna run away

Most of my problems, I cannot escape

I tell myself that my problems are fake

Invalidate all the things I create

As long as I'm breathing, then everything's straight

This life that I'm living is barely existence

I question reality, feel so abysmal

I honestly wish that it was different

Since I was still little, conflicted with all of these riddles

I'm careful where I put attention

'Cause energy's real inside of a dimension

I'm filled with emotion and all my intentions

Intendin' to not feel like I'm not so dependent

On all of my vices and all of the stories I'm telling myself

I think my ego just wants me to fail

Can't show the world that I'm honestly frail

Can't show the world that I'm honestly scared

Scared of a world that I don't understand

I said dealing with pain is what made me a man

But I think I was wrong, should've said that instead

Dealing with pain is what made me human