album cover
Freedumb
344
On Tour
Comedy
Freedumb was released on July 1, 2016 by 800 Pound Gorilla Records as a part of the album Freedumb
album cover
Release DateJuly 1, 2016
Label800 Pound Gorilla Records
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy

Music Video

Music Video

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Jim Jefferies
Jim Jefferies
Performer
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Jim Jefferies
Jim Jefferies
Songwriter

Lyrics

[Verse 1]
Um, with the hate mail that I get from the guns
They always sort of start the same way
It always makes me laugh
Every letter starts with, hey buddy
You shouldn't even say anything
You're not from here
[Verse 2]
That is the weakest argument ever
'Kay, as Americans, from now on
Don't use that argument
Alright
Because you're Americans
And it's not like historically you've kept your opinions to yourself
It's not like there's ever been a party in the UK
And there's an American guy there and I've heard this sentence
Geez, he's a quiet chap
You're the loudest people on earth, see
[Verse 3]
And then they always say this
And this fucking spins me out
Well I don't expect an Australian to understand freedom
What are you talking about?
You constantly say freedom all the time like you're the
Oh, we're so free, where we fight for freedom
Freedom, freedom, come to the freedom lounge at the airport
Like fucking what?
[Verse 4]
You know when you sing the national anthem at the baseball
And the, and the person holds the note free
For a little bit longer than they should
Until all you Americans fucking cum in your pants
For the land of the free
He said free
Freedom this, freedom that
Free, free, free
[Verse 5]
Now I hate to break it to you
'Cause I don't think many of you know this
There are ninety two free countries on the planet
Democratic, free countries
You are one of them
Every single English speaking country on earth is free
And most of the, ta ta, countries are also free
Now, you're very free
Don't get upset
And I have a wonderful, I love America, I truly do
I, uh, I live here and I love it
I have nothing against it
And none of the things I'm about to mention affect you
And they affect me, in any way, right
[Verse 6]
You may not be the freest place on earth
Just a quick example
Um, out of the ninety two free countries on the planet
You, uh, have the highest rate of incarceration
One percent of your adult population is in prison
That's double that of the country that comes in second
Which is South Africa
If you've ever been to South Africa, South Africa's fucked
So you're double that of South Africa
So statistically, in the land of the free
You have the least amount of free people
[Verse 7]
Now, this is a super simple one, super simple argument
In Holland you can smoke weed whilst fucking a hooker
In front of a cop
How dare Holland not be called the land of the free
Do you honestly think you're competing with Holland?
In Canada, just last year, they legalized assisted suicide for the sick
Which I believe is the biggest freedom of them all
It's your life, no government, no religious groups
Should ever tell you when you get to check out
If you're a pro life person, good, do it with your life
Not mine
Right?
[Verse 8]
Now, and also, I don't think they've thought about it
I don't think there's even the most evangelical Christian
Who's a burn victim, just like hanging on to life support
In the hospital, just, I felt so free
And I was so glad they're doing it in Canada
Because if I ever had an assisted suicide
I want it to be a Canadian doctor
I want some guy rocking up to my house like
Okay, alrighty then, uh, so I hear that someones giving up on life, eh?
Alright, let me just set up my little death machine here
And I'll uh, I'm gonna put this in your vein
And you're gonna be so sleepy so soon, I tell you what there
[Verse 9]
In Australia, maybe twenty years ago, maybe twenty
They, they legalized prostitution
They thought it'd be the downfall of our society
But it really wasn't, it was a great thing
Like in Sydney, where I grew up
The streets always had hookers walking around everywhere
There was needles, and, and it was a very seedy city in some parts
You know
And then what they did was they legalized prostitution
They moved all the hookers into brothels
And 'cause they moved into brothels
All the girls had to be tested for STDs
And they, and then the guys they could see the tests as they go in
So it was safer for the men but it was also safe for the women
'Cause what they did is they put security in these brothels
So if you showed up like a drunk idiot, they wouldn't let you in
Or if you got a bit aggro, they'd kick you the fuck out
So the girls were safer and the men were safer
Human trafficking was all but eliminated
And uh, tax revenue went up
And the divorce rate dropped by eight percent
There is no downside to legalize prostitution
[Verse 10]
Now, in America prostitution is illegal
Unless you film it
How is that possible? how the fuck is that possible?
How do you have the biggest porn industry in the world
And you still have illegal prostitution?
Because it is legal to pay a woman for sex
But your friend Dave has to be in a corner with a camera
And Dave has to film it
And Dave has to promise to put in on the internet
'Cause if Dave doesn't put it on the internet
Then a crime has been committed
[Verse 11]
And that girl can be eighteen years old
And she can be surrounded by ten men that she barely knows
And they can all jack off on to her face
Until she's glazed with cum
And no crime has been committed
But in America and only in America
She's too young to have a beer
If anyone deserves a beer, in the land of the free
The home of the brave
It's the girl with ten loads of cum on her face
In fact, if you have ten loads of cum on your face
You should get free drinks wherever you go
You seem like a fun girl
Or a heavy sleeper
Written by: Jim Jefferies
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