Hello John (The John Laws Song)

Hello John, hello Lawsie, hey John, is that you?

Mate you\'ve no idea how hard it was tryin\' to get through,

Am I on the air? f*ckin\' hell. Whoop, sorry I didn\'t know,

So I\'ll try not to say f*ck again alright, hello? Hello? Hello John?

(Hello John) hello John?

Hello John, hello Lawsie, g\'day John is that you?

Mate I\'m callin\' from a pay phone and look I-I didn\'t mean to rude

before

And I\'m sorry I said f*ck, alright, made a prick\'a meself I know,

So I rang to say f*ckin\' sorry mate, hello? Hello? Hello John?

(Hello John) hello John?

(Hello John)

Hello John, Lawsie, f*ckin\' hell, what they doin\'?

f*ckin\' phone keeps cuttin\' out and I\'m tryin\' talk to you

And I\'m runnin\' out of f*ckin\' change, and I just wanna say hello,

And some cunt keeps on cuttin\' me off, oh f*ck! Hello! Hello John?!

(Hello John) hello?!

Hello John, f*ckin\' hell mate, cunts cut me off again,

And I just wanna have a f*ckin\' chat and put my two bobs worth in,

And them cunts keep f*ckin\' cuttin\' me off while I\'m talkin\' on the

phone,

Useless f*ckin\' poofters bastards, oh f*ck! Hello! Hello John?!

(Hello John) hello John?!

(Hello John)

Hello Lawsie, Lawsie f*ck ya, oh f*ck I give up,

And stick your f*ckin\' radio show and...and who gives a f*ck ya

pompous prick!

f*ck your radio show! Oh f*ck, I\'ll give another call, hello? Hello?

Lawsie! Mate.

Lawsie, John. (Hello John)

John, Lawsie, pick up the f*ckin\' phone. (Hello John)

Lawsie, get one\'a them hand maidens to pick up the f*ckin\' phone!

(Hello John)

For Christ\'s sake then give us f*ckin\' Darren Hinchy\'s number. (Hello

John)

Darren, I wanna talk to f*ckin\' Darren Hinch, I got right off you ya cunt.

(Hello John)

Give us f*ckin\' Hinchy\'s number, you don\'t wanna f*ckin\' talk to me.

(Hello John)

f*ckin\' Hinchy needs a maid at the moment. (Hello John)

Lawsie ya cunt!