album cover
album cover
Battleship was released on October 14, 2025 by B-13 Productions as a part of the album Khan!!! The Musical! A Parody Trek-tacular (Studio Cast Album)
October 14, 2025
LabelB-13 Productions
LanguageEnglish
BPM115
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy

Music Video

Music Video

Lyrics

Kirk, my old friend
At last we meet on the field of battle
Game on
Hunting through a soupy fuchsia haze
Unable to rely upon deflectors or displays
You could run off like a coward now and give your foe the slip
But what a shame when we could both take aim in a classic game of Battleship
If that's the way you want it
Oh, it is
Let us begin
And may the best man me win
I shall give you the first turn, Admiral
Uh, B-nine
B-nine
Miss
Damn
Precious few have bested you
In fact, I've yet to see one
C-one
Miss
D-five
D-five
Miss
Yes, precious few have bested you
And I cannot wait to Be One
B-one
Miss
I too
I-two
Miss
Have work to do to finally rid the galaxy of you
You've got so much pride, yet so few places left to hide
In fact, I only see two
C-two
Miss
So what'll it be, Jimmy boy?
I've got a pretty good idea where you are
And you've only got one move left to stop me
H-two
Gesundheit
H-two
Miss
No longer do I need to wait, with every space I eliminate
Extrapolate
Triangulate
So now comes the blow that seals your fff-ate
F
Down goes Enterprise
Down goes Kirk
Plus all your little space cadets
But hey, that's just a perk
Ha
Down goes Enterprise
Have a nice trip
You shouldn't have messed with the very best
The King of Battleship
Evasive maneuvers
Scotty, damage report
We've got injured cadets on deck eight
Hull breach on the starboard side of deck five
But force fields are hanging on
So we're hurt
But we're not dead yet
Evasive maneuvers, Admiral?
Changing the conditions at the test again, I see, how droll
Quarter turn to starboard and let it ride
Your move
J-three
J-three
Miss
It's just not your day, is it?
Khan, with that augmented brain of yours
How is it so hard to understand?
I never meant to harm you or kill the ones you loved
How could I have known what lay in store?
I could have forgiven if you'd just come back to check
I could have found it in my heart
But that was before
B-four
Hit
Down goes Enterprise
Down goes Kirk
Damage to your lower stern
Oh yeah, that ought to work
Down goes Enterprise
How the script has flipped
Because you messed with the very best
The King of Battleship
He's got us in sudden death, Admiral
One more hit and the Enterprise is done for
I'm not ready to say goodbye to my bonnie lass
I never even got to third base
What the hell is going on?
In what dimension does this guy beat me?
Dimension
What?
He has drawn you into a two-dimensional game
He is a brilliant tactician, but his brilliance is earthbound
Your only chance of victory is in
The third dimension
Spock, have I ever told you you're my
We'll have plenty of time for that
But first, you've got a battleship to sink
Ah, back for more, I see
And what, pray tell, will your next move be?
Pi, square root of two
What
Near miss
Evasive
Golden ratio, negative zero, plus or minus sign
Near miss
Sigma
What are you doing, Kirk?
Ligma!
That won't possibly work
Four-twenty-sixty-nine
Nice
No, no
Joachim, it cannot end like this
You're my favorite out of all of my inexplicably young henchpeople
I shall avenge you
And the bowling league?
We will bowl mightily in your honor
And the back of our shirts shall read Team Joachim
Thank you, Master
That almost makes all of this worth it, yuhhh
Joachim, my wife, my friends
Joachim, my wife, my friends
You could have told me how I wronged you
I could have tried to somehow make amends
You're the reason they're all gone
But you're a danger to the galaxy itself
So this is where it ends
No more debate, you are through
God, how I hate you
A-two
Miss
Goodbye, Khan
You with an umlaut
No
Fortissimo
No
Clown emoji
Nooooo
Infinity
Down
Goes
Khan
Written by: Brent Black
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