album cover
Star Spangled Stiff
6
Country
Star Spangled Stiff was released on January 2, 2026 by 9500520 Records DK as a part of the album Make Country Gay Again
album cover
Release DateJanuary 2, 2026
Label9500520 Records DK
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM73

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Randy Bottoms
Randy Bottoms
Vocals, Banjo
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Randy Bottoms
Randy Bottoms
Songwriter
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
Randy Bottoms
Randy Bottoms
Executive Producer, Producer

Lyrics

I got a problem and it started at sixteen
Pledge of allegiance made me bust through my jeans
Now I'm thirty two and nothing's changed
Get a raging boner when the anthem's played
Today at the post office happened again
Flag went up and my dick went insane
Had to park my truck and grip my seat
While I shot freedom juice to the marching beat
I'm star spangled stiff every Fourth of July
Shootin fireworks from my American fly
When I hear the anthem I grab my meat
Jack it to the rhythm of the marching beat
My boner's redder than the stripes on the flag
White and blue balls in my patriot bag
Can't help myself when freedom calls
Star spangled stiff with swollen balls
Went to a baseball game last Friday night
During the anthem my pants got tight
Everyone stood with hands on hearts
Mine went straight to my private parts
By rockets red glare I was strokin fast
Bombs bursting made me blast
Got kicked out during the seventh inning
But I left that stadium grinnin
I'm star spangled stiff at the Veterans Day parade
Rubbin one out while the anthem played
Grandpa said boy that ain't right
But I can't help my patriotic might
Every flag I see gives me wood
Jerkin for my country like a patriot should
Can't go to Walmart or Target no more
They got my picture taped to the door
Memorial Day barbecue at my mom's house
Had to excuse myself to de arouse
But her flag garden made me lose control
Now there's nut on her brand new flagpole
She don't invite me to holidays no more
Says I'm not allowed near her front door
But I still drive past when I need to bust
Her American flag fulfills my lust
I'm star spangled stiff and I ain't gonna change
Doctors say my dick is clinically deranged
But this is who I am this is my truth
Been jackin for America since my youth
God bless America land that I love
Star spangled stiff until I die above
Written by: Randy Bottoms
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