Revenge of a Middle-Aged Woman

I was looking for a cheap car in the Sunday classifieds When an ad jumped out and hit me right between my bugged out eyes It was a two-year-old Mercedes, only 700 bucks I couldn't make my trembling fingers dial that number fast enough The woman who picked up the phone said, "Yes, it's still for sale But I've had about one thousand calls, so you'd better move your tail" When I drove up that long driveway with the cash there in my hand She met me at the garage with a short skirt and a tan When we took it for a test drive, I couldn't believe my luck She said, "I'll throw in them old Palmer golf clubs there in the trunk" None of this was making sense, but then it dawned on me When she referred to her old man as a cheating SOB It was a classic case of a woman scorned She'll make that man wish he had never been born She's a 40-something year old judge and jury Hell hath no fury like revenge of a middle-aged woman So she took me out to breakfast, put it on his credit card And by the time they poured the coffee, she was pouring out her heart Stories of his sneaking 'round and sordid escapades Secretaries, waitresses, and bimbos half his age She said, "You know there's one thing I ought to thank him for Well, he ticked me off so much, I put new locks on my doors" It's a classic case of a woman scorned She'll make that man wish he had never been born She's a 40-something year old judge and jury Hell hath no fury like revenge of a middle-aged woman Well, I believe good wine and women get better with time And if you ask me, that man's a fool or else he must be blind I'll never know his motives, can't get inside his head But, I'm driving that Mercedes, and I'm sleeping in his bed It's a classic case of a woman scorned She'll make that man wish he had never been born She's a 40-something year old judge and jury Hell hath no fury like revenge of a middle-aged woman Revenge of a middle-aged woman I know I oughta feel guilty about something I just can't think of what it might be