Merry Christmas from the Family

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk At our Christmas party We were drinkin' champagne punch And homemade eggnog Little sister brought her new boyfriend He was a Mexican We didn't know what to think of him 'Til he sang "Feliz Navidad" "Feliz Navidad" Brother Ken brought his kids with him The three from his first wife Lynn And the two identical twins From his second wife Mary Nell Of course, he brought his new wife Kaye Who talks all about AA Chain smokin' while the stereo plays "Noel, Noel, The first Noel" Carve the turkey turn the ball game on Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store We need some ice and an extension cord A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite A box of pampers, some Marlboro Lights Hallelujah, everybody say "Cheese" Merry Christmas from the family Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen I can't remember how I'm kin to them But when they tried to plug their motor home in They blew our Christmas lights Cousin David knew just what went wrong So we all waited out on our front lawn He threw the breaker and the lights came on And we sang "Silent Night" "Silent night, holy night" Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on Mix Bloody Marys 'cause we all want one Send somebody to the Stop-n-Go We need some celery and a can of fake snow A bag of lemons and some Diet Sprite A box of Midol, some Salem Lights Hallelujah, everybody say "Cheese" Merry Christmas from the family Feliz Navidad