Makin' Whoopee

Every time I hear that dear old wedding march I feel rather glad I have a broken arch I have heard a lot of people talk And I know that marriage is a long long walk To most people Weddings mean romance But I prefer A picnic or a dance Another bride, another groom Another sunny honeymoon Another season, another reason For making whoopee The chorus sings, "Here comes the bride" Another victim is by her side He's lost his reason 'cause it's the season For making whoopee Down through the countless ages You'll find it everywhere Somebody makes good wages Somebody wants her share She calls him "Toodles" and rolls her eyes She makes him strudles and bakes him pies What is it all for? It's so he'll fall for making whoopee Another year or maybe less What's this I hear, well, can't you guess? She feels neglected, so he's suspected Of making whoopee She sits alone most every night He doesn't phone or even write He says he's busy, but she says, "Is he?" He's making whoopee He doesn't make much money Five thousand dollars per Some judge who thinks he's funny Says, "You'll pay six to her" He says, "Now judge, suppose I fail?" The judge says, "Budge right into jail" You better keep her, you'll find it's cheaper Than making whoopee