album cover
Suicidal Thoughts
Hip-Hop/Rap
Suicidal Thoughts was released on July 31, 2026 by Caiden Arbaugh as a part of the album One Last Night, Vol. 1 - EP
album cover
Release DateJuly 31, 2026
LabelCaiden Arbaugh
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy
BPM85

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
ChaoticSaint
ChaoticSaint
Bass
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Caiden Isaac Arbaugh
Caiden Isaac Arbaugh
Songwriter
PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING
ChaoticSaint
ChaoticSaint
Producer
Caiden Isaac Arbaugh
Caiden Isaac Arbaugh
Producer

Lyrics

These suicidal thoughts keep knocking at my door
Whispering shit I don't wanna hear no more
Tell me I'd be better if I just disappear
These suicidal thoughts got me drowning in fear
I try to shake 'em off, but they digging deep
These suicidal thoughts won't let me fucking sleep
3 AM again and the ceiling's staring back
Mind running wild on a one-way track
Every failure piled up like bricks on my chest
Can't catch a breath, can't find no rest
I keep telling myself that tomorrow might change
But the voice in my head just keeps calling my name
Saying none of this shit is worth the fight
And I'm too fucking tired to argue tonight
These suicidal thoughts keep knocking at my door
Whispering shit I don't wanna hear no more
Tell me I'd be better if I just disappear
These suicidal thoughts got me drowning in fear
I try to shake 'em off, but they digging deep
These suicidal thoughts won't let me fucking sleep
People say reach out like it's that damn simple
When the dark feels safer than another empty temple
I smile in the daytime so nobody can tell
That inside I'm screaming in a private hell
The pills didn't fix it, the talks didn't stick
I'm still stuck in this loop that makes me sick
I don't want the end, I just want the noise to stop
But these thoughts keep coming and they never drop
These suicidal thoughts keep knocking at my door
Whispering shit I don't wanna hear no more
Tell me I'd be better if I just disappear
These suicidal thoughts got me drowning in fear
I try to shake 'em off, but they digging deep
These suicidal thoughts won't let me fucking sleep
I look at old pictures and barely recognize the face
Someone who used to laugh, used to take up space
Now I'm just existing, going through the motions
Carrying a weight that feels like an ocean
Friends think I'm quiet, family thinks I'm fine
Nobody sees the war that's always on my mind
I hate that I think it, I hate that it's real
I hate that these thoughts are the only thing I feel
These suicidal thoughts keep knocking at my door
Whispering shit I don't wanna hear no more
Tell me I'd be better if I just disappear
These suicidal thoughts got me drowning in fear
I try to shake 'em off, but they digging deep
These suicidal thoughts won't let me fucking sleep
I'm still here writing, still trying to fight
Even when the night feels endless and tight
These thoughts don't own me, even when they scream
I'm more than the darkness, more than the dream
But damn, it's exhausting to keep pushing through
When every single day feels brand new and blue
If you're hearing this shit and it hits too close
Just know you're not alone, that's what matters most
These suicidal thoughts keep knocking at my door
Whispering shit I don't wanna hear no more
Tell me I'd be better if I just disappear
These suicidal thoughts got me drowning in fear
I try to shake 'em off, but they digging deep
These suicidal thoughts won't let me fucking sleep
Written by: Caiden Isaac Arbaugh
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