Taking a Dive - John Caparulo: Şarkı Sözleri, Müzik Videoları ve Konserler

Taking a Dive

309Comedy2013

Turnede

Şarkı Bilgileri

Taking a Dive adlı parça {albumName} albümünün bir parçası olarak Jack/Warner Records/LoudMouth Entertainment tarafından 17 Eylül 2013 tarihinde yayınlandıCome Inside Me

AlbümCome Inside Me

17 Eylül 2013

FirmaJack/Warner Records/LoudMouth Entertainment

DilEnglish

Melodiklik

Akustiklik

Valence

Dans Edilebilirlik

Enerji

GENEL BAKIŞ

ŞARKI SÖZLERI

Müzik Videosu

Müzik Videosu

Şarkı sözleri

She's always, yeah, she's uh

She's got too much energy

She's always trying to get me to go do stuff

When we were first dating, she got me to go skydiving

Which, I wanted to do that when I was younger

Now, I guess as I get older, I become more of a pussy

You know, like, I used to love roller coasters

Now I look at 'em, I'm like, "That could fucking break."

I don't like that shit

But yeah, we went skydiving

They don't let you go by yourself the first time skydiving

They make you go with what's called tandem

Which is like with training wheels, except the training wheels are fucking breathing on you the whole time

It takes a lot of the cool out of it

Like, I was excited to go!

Like i was up all night the night before watching like Point Break and shit

Like I'm gonna be a daredevil in the morning!

You're not a daredevil with a British guy strapped to your ass

I felt more like cargo

"Oh, hold me, Nigel!"

'Cause ever since I did it, people are like, "Oh, I bet that's a weird experience jumping out of a plane."

Yeah! You know what's weirder? Fucking Nigel!

That's a weird experience too!

'Cause yeah, I've never jumped out of a plane before

Never had this much dude on my back either, so

Now it's not only scary, it's fucking socially awkward, too!

'Cause now I gotta jump out of a plane and not fart!

I mean, that's a lot of pressure!

Scariest moment of my life, I was contemplating screaming and farting the whole way down

Now I gotta hold it in like we're in fucking church!

We had to show up real early in the morning

We did it out east of LA, in the desert

We had to show up like 7:00 AM

Like i thought there was gonna be training

Of some kind. There's no training!

It's just strapping!

And you gotta sign a bunch of shit that you don't want to read

Yeah, you'll be like, "Yeah, all right, we'll be up high."

"If I die, I can fuck off. Sounds good."

And oh, and you'll charge my mom for the jumpsuit, too? Oh, boy, this is fun."

There's no training, it's just me getting strapped to Nigel for like an hour

And he's fucking aggressive!

I'm like, "Are you mad at me, sir?"

"Okay, fuck! We're together, all right? I'm your guy!"

"I won't dance with any other boys, I promise!"

Finally, he says to me, he's like, "When I open the parachute, these straps are gonna get really tight."

I'm like, "They're pretty fucking tight!"

"And did you just kiss my neck? 'Cause I..."

"I don't remember signing that fucking form."

But once you're strapped to him, you're going

We're on our way to the plane, just

It feels like we're hostages!

It's like, "Can I call my mom?" "Shut up!"

"All right, fuck!" Just stand, just stand still

I don't even think we were done getting ready

You know, 'cause we had the jumpsuit, we had the straps

I'm like, "Where's my helmet?"

Nigel had a fucking helmet! Where's my helmet?

He's like, "Oh, you don't need a helmet."

I'm like, "I'm on the bottom, motherfucker!"

"If anybody should have a helmet, I think I'm helmet guy!"

They gave me goggles. "Yeah, let's save my eyes."

"Just in case the chute doesn't open, I can see exactly how fucked up my spine is from now on."

"Look guys, I walk like shit!"

They put us in the plane

It's not a nice plane, it's a fucked up plane

It's like they bought a plane at a yard sale or some shit

But it's like a 15-minute ride to get up there

And I gotta ride on Nigel's lap, just

And I'm thinking, I'm like, "There's no turbulence."

"Why are we the only ones bouncing, Nigel?"

"You just give me a pony ride to calm me down right now?" cause

So we go up to like 12,000 feet, and we level off

And I figured once we got up there, we were gonna have time

To talk about this shit, you know, like

Sign some more forms or something, I mean

But they do like ten jumps a day, so they don't have time for your thoughts

They just open the door and people just start falling out

It's like they're emptying the trash

And I'm getting closer to my turn, and I'm not a religious guy, but I'm like, "We forgot to pray!"

They don't even give you time to do that!

I'm like, "Our Father, who art in... FUCK!"

Like i'm pretty sure that's worse than not praying!

I just said, "Our Father, who art in fuck!"

I think I just stamped our fucking hell ticket, Nigel, we gotta go back!

So we just free fall

Like two minutes of just plummeting towards death

And there's just air hitting you in the face like you can't think, you can't breathe

You can't close your mouth

I wasn't even worried about dying, I was just like, "Man, my teeth are fucking cold!"

I just want the chute to open so I have warmer fucking teeth!

'Cause that's what I'm thinking, it's like, once the chute opens, this'll be fun

It'll be breathtaking and exhilarating, and me and Nigel'll

We'll make a day of it!

But there's none of that, 'cause I forgot what he said about the straps

I don't know if he did my straps wrong, or

They weren't right, i mean cause everybody else went with it, My wife, everybody, they were fine

Nigel opens our chute, the straps just take over my balls!

I'm like, "Oh, this is fucking beautiful!"

"I'm so glad I gave you 300 bucks to do this shit, Nigel!"

And I'm stuck like that!

And I'm waiting for him to say something, anything... like, address this shit!, i mean

'Cause I'm not an expert on skydiving, it's my first time

I just know we don't look like the fucking website right now!

So finally he chimes in, he's like, "Oh, something's wrong with your straps."

I'm like, "Thank you for joining us! I appreciate that!"

"Like, what are we gonna do about it?"

He's like, "Oh, there's nothing we can do."

He's like, "Don't worry, I'm okay."

I'm like, "Oh, good! Fuck you!"

He's like, "I know it's uncomfortable, but you'll just have to ride it out like that."

I'm like, "Okay, fine, I'll ride it out, but let's land!"

He's still trying to make a ride out of this!

He's like, "Oh no, you're gonna love this view."

I'm like, "Face it, Nigel, we failed!"

"Sometimes shit just doesn't work out, we tried!"

He's trying to give me a sightseeing tour while we're up there!

He's like, "Oh, if you look over there, you can see San Diego."

I'm like, "Well, I sure don't give a fuck right now, Nigel!"

"I've seen San Diego before, I'd like to see blood back in my dong again!"

"I'd like to see circulation on the ground very soon! We can land right there!"

He's like, "No, we gotta land in fucking Charlotte."

I'm like, "You motherfucker..."

Thank you guys so much for coming to the show!

Thank you, South Point!

Thank you guys!

You guys are awesome, I appreciate it!

Thank you guys!

Thank you guys!

Written by: John Caparulo

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