The Ad-dressing Of Cats

You've heard of several kinds of cats

And my opinion, now is that

You should need no interpreter

To understand our character

You've learned enough to take the view

The cats are very much like you

You've seen us both at work and games

And learned about our proper names

Our habits and our habitat

But how would you address a cat?

So first, your memory I'll jog

And say a cat is not a dog

(So first, your memory I'll jog)

(And say a cat is not a dog)

With cats some say one rule is true

Don't speak till you are spoken to

Myself I do not hold with that

I say you should address a cat

But always bare in mind that he resents familiarity

You bow and taking off your hat

Address him in this form, "Oh cat"

(Oh cat)

Before a cat will condescend

To treat you, as a trusted friend

Some little of token of esteem

Is needed like a dish of cream

Or you might now and then supply

Some caviar or Strasbourg pie

Some potted grouse or salmon paste

He's sure to have his personal taste

And so in time you'll reach your aim

And call him by his name

(A cat's entitled to expect)

(These evidences of respect)

(So this is this and that is that)

(And there's how you address a cat)