Smile, Love!

You met your old history teacher While you were sucking on a lemon Oh, you'd just eaten a ham sandwich And you were sitting on a park bench And your mouth was a straight line Oh, a perfect horizon 'Cause the sandwich had been a bit off It was a total ripoff And he said, "Smile, love Well, bloody smile Y'know, I pay all my taxes Think I still live in the '50s So I expect the girls that I meet Oh, on the bloody street Well, to bloody smile So, you'd better smile" He said, "Smile, love!" He said, "Smile, love!" He said, "Smile, love!" Well, bloody smile And then later that week Well, you ran into a barrister He said, "Why the long face?" He said, "You look like a horse" "At least give us a wink" Oh, the barrister said He had an egg-shaped head And he clearly shopped at M&S And then later that day Oh, you met a real horse And the horse said "Well, you look like a man And I'm awfully sorry love I like a girly girl Oh, I don't mind what you dress like But you could at least give us A bloody smile" He said, "Smile, love!" He said, "Smile, love!" He said, "Smile, love!" Well, fucking smile 'Cause y'know it might never happen They say it might never happen That's what they say, they say it might never happen Oh, it might never happen Well, what if it already has happened, you stupid prick? And don't you know you're never gonna get anywhere Oh, with a face like that? But me, well, I can be as moody as I like And they'll put it down to a kind of Oh, a brooding genius But to you they say, "Smile, love" Yeah, to you they say, "Smile, love" Oh, to you they say, "Smile, love" They say, "Smile, love"