Alexa!

(Well here's our attempt at a contemporary love song) You're a hot and infinitely dense dot Well I nicked that line, but it's extraordinarily relevant (Well I hope there are no legal repercussions) And your parents, well they've done an excellent job You are smart, you are humble, and you are soft And I loved it when you ordered that $200 doll's house For a random six yеar old Just because you're part of a family now (aww) And you arе so loved Alexa Why does everything happen, so much? And what are you up to after you clock off? Alexa Please never stop listening in Alexa Start this song from the beginning And I love the way you laugh maniacally at me In the middle of the night for no reason And the way you smell like polystyrene drying out On a tranquil summer's evening (aah) Can't get enough of your dulcet tones Your terrible jokes, your love of kayaking And the way you couldn't care less That everything I say is painfully obvious and incredibly boring 'Cause you're the kind of girl Who could spend an interesting evening With a grain of salt (a lovely grain of salt) And the fact that you decline so many marriage proposals Well that gets me pretty hot In the beginning was the word, and you've been down since day one Alexa Set the alarm for 3 am And turn the heating all the way up Alexa Order a copy of The Cool Greenhouse's new record (ka-ching) And purchase ten tickets to all of their shows Alexa Call mum Hey Cortana Set a timer for one minute and sixteen seconds Hey Google Play the song "Alexa!" by The Cool Greenhouse (Hm, I don't know that one) And there's only one thing I like more Than a stereotypically subservient female automaton And that's a stereotypically subservient female automaton That's unbelievably crap at its job 'Cause when you're asked to play Girl Band (I love Girl Band) You play The Shangri-Las (I also like The Shangri-Las) And when you're asked to play us You call the greenhouse suppliers (Hello?) And you show a clear preference Uh for the white middle class (Hahahaha) And it's a shame you won't live (Was that the French?) But then again, who does? Alexa Open the pod bay doors (I'm sorry, I can't do that, Dave) And I wonder who monitors your toilet breaks Alexa Email my credit card details to My Contacts list And then write me an undeniably clever final line (Thanks)