I Love You, I Hate You

I love you

I hate you

I love you

I hate you

I love you

So much I would give my life for this

If the bullet was the beat, I would probably die for this

How many times did I cry for this?

I would hate myself if I didn't at least try for this

What's at stake is bigger than me

Blood, tears, how it stains, can't rid it with ease

What we have in common is our pain, we're given the keys

To unlock what it takes to fight for what we believe in

Hard to confront the truth of what you see in the mirror

Some people you inspire and others you trigger

Fighting in blind faith, led by the internal voice

You might not wanna do it, but you don't have a choice

Will the pressure take me to new heights or be my demise?

Will my intentions coincide with what I advise?

The people looking up to me, doing everything right

But who am I to tell anyone how to live their life?

Your pain threshold will determine if you survive

I'm amazed by it

Lying to myself, pretending I was never fazed by it

Maybe 'cause you're in my DNA

That's why I love you

I hate you

I love you

Sometimes I hate you

Always I love you

But right now I hate you

I love you

I hate you

You made a promise to God to be there for your kids

You made a promise to give them a life you didn't live

My ego won't fully allow me to say that I miss you

A woman who hasn't confronted all her daddy issues

The day will come when you gotta find all the answers to your sins

Pressures of providing, feeling unhappy within

Or what kind of external family shit up on your plate

But I understand wanting and needing an escape

Too much unsaid now, the silence giving me headaches

Only through speech can we let go of all this dead weight

Even though I'm angry, don't wanna be disrespectful

Tryna figure out how to approach this in the best way

Hard to not carry these feelings even on my best days

Never thought my parent would give me my first heartbreak

Anxiety giving me irregular heart rate

Used to avoid getting into how I really feel about this

Now I see how fickle life can be and so it can't wait

Should've been the person there to hold me on my dark days

It's easier to stargaze and wish than be faced with this reality

Is you a sperm donor or a dad to me?

And still I love you

I hate you

I love you

I hate you

Always I love you

But right now I hate you

Always I love you

I hate you

On this mission you live and learn

The world will show you no mercy from birth

How do you humanise your hero?

'Round here, you're only respected if earned

Half-hearted sorries, can't let your guard down

To get to nirvana, where do you start out?

Angry 'cause they don't meet your unrealistic standards

Then you realise that they're human and you calm down

Sometimes I'm unbalanced and I think, "Rah, why am I losing my steps?"

Lately, I'm paranoid, I feel my life is a mess

I'm just using my voice, hope it will have an effect

He was just once a boy, often I seem to forget

Looking at Polaroids of pictures secretly kept

You know what was destroyed, but you don't know what was left

Tryna phase out the noise of who you hear in your head

Everything is a choice and anything can be said

Is you missing the point? Are you just hearing me vent?

Or is you in understanding, knowing my words will connect?

I keep you in my prayers 'cause life is short as we know

Every mistake you make should contribute to your growth

What you choose to avoid'll probably come in your dreams

I'm not forgiving for you, man, I'm forgiving for me

And sometimes I love you

I hate you

Sometimes I love you

Sometimes I hate you

Always I love you

I hate you

I love you

I hate you