Huht!

Uh, yeah

Yeah

I ain't comin' in, yet

Look

Look, when I was four, I was fightin' for my life

They stabbed me up, with needles, tried to get the treatment right

I was scared, I was dyin', like the kid, the other night

'Cause, he ain't get the same meds, that I did on the fight

And now, he's dead

Man, that should've been me

Like, what if he was that dude, who could'a cured a disease?

Or figured out a way to save us, when the Earth'd deplete?

Or then, became the fuckin' president, who nurtured, in peace?

I just don't get it, 'cause, I ain't livin' my life

Man, all I do is sit at home, and fuckin' bitch, when I write

Then, fuck a bitch, every night, instead of pickin' 'em right

'Cause, in my past, every girl I had, was pickin' a fight

And, it made me nervous

My circuit's are shot, and I don't care

I'm tryna find the words, that'll surface, and find air

I'm workin', to feel worth it, I'm hurt, and it's not fair

'Cause, I feel like I been searchin' for purpose, that's not there

And now, I'm scared

Yeah, unh, look

And now, I'm scared

And, I 'on't like to talk about my feeling's

'Cause, the man, inside the mirror

Got some demons, muh'fucker

And, I'm scared

Yeah, unh

And now, I'm scared

But, I been actin' like I'm okay

Even though, deep inside, I been lost in my mind

And, I'm scared

But, I'm alive and well

Well, I'm alive, but I'm far from well

So, the doctors say I need to focus more on my health

Because, I rap to help you, but it ain't helpin' myself

I keep myself pinned down, with the words that I've spit

Instead of movin' past pain, I indulge in the shit, huht

Look, you prob'ly thinkin' it's hot

But, it caused my anxiety, and that shit don't stop

Man, I can't even leave my house, so I hide in my room

'Cause, everybody in my town, talks down on me, too

They see me as a fuckin' rapper, some delusional goon

And, judge me, based off every lyric, not the shit that I do

And, it made me pissed

I'm bitchin', but, shit, it's just not fair

I'm itchin' for the figures, I figured, it's right there

The bigger picture, I've painted is failin' to find air

'Cause, the genre's started changin', my brain is just not there

And now, I'm scared

Yeah, unh, look

And now, I'm scared

So, I 'on't leave my room, too often

Man, it's too much talkin' 'round my name, muh'fucker

Now, I'm scared

Yuh, unh

And now, I'm scared

I 'on't do well, when I'm lonely

But, I'm always by myself, and maybe that's the reason

That I'm scared

For my family, and friends, that I made

'Cause, death is just around the corner, that could happen, today

And shit, I couldn't even fathom what my family would say

If they seen me, layin' dead, in my casket, one day

I seen my parents, last week, I ain't seen 'em in months

Shit, my mom looked nervous, 'cause I'm hangin' with thugs

And she's scared I'll OD, 'cause I got into drugs

So, before I thought to leave, I went and gave her a hug

And, she latched on

Like, she won't see me, again

I got a feelin' that the reason is the shit that I said

I tell my fans, everyday, that I wish I was dead

So, I can finally be in peace, instead of dealin', with dread

And, it made me mad

I'm passin' the pain, to my own fam

I've stacked all the odds, in my favor, to make rap

Now, I'm laughin' about passin', and, havin' a whole gram

'Cause, I'm lackin' all the passion I had, and it's so sad

And now, I'm scared