Maybe I've wasted every day of my life

Knowing that one day I would turn off the lights

And close the door

What was I staying for?

I can't count from off of the top of my head

How many days I spent confined to my bed

Barely alive

I struggled to survive

Blank

Staring at the wall

How will I tell that kid I gave my all?

Numb

Watching time go by

How do I explain why it's so hard to try

Nothing feels worse than feeling nothing at all

That's what I tell myself when I start to fall

Back into my routine, doing all the same things

Every night

They always told me I should shoot for the stars

Just raise your arms up and it won't be that hard

But now I'm floating in space, I don't belong to a place

Anymore

Blank

Staring at the wall

How will I tell that kid I gave my all?

Numb

Watching time go by

How do I explain why it's so hard to try

I can't get rid of the static up in my brain

I changed the channel but it all comes out the same

Your input didn't help, so I watched the screen as I faded away

You took a word and made me feel fucking insane

Stop being crazy but it's a choice I never made

I can't help that I'm stuck reliving every one of my bad days

If I don't say this now, in ten years I'm not sure how

I'll remember this time, the work it took in my mind

To try and make it out

Flawed

I'll learn how to stand tall

I'll just have to show this kid how to give it their all

Loved

Watching clouds go by

I know I can start to heal, there's strength in me left to try