Here we have our dust free dining set

We guarantee it won't collect a spec

Freeing up the children to instead

Grow into your molding

Heed more of your scolding

Go early to their new self-making beds

It seems like you'd be tired of losing face

Like you'd want to put the children in their place

The more you have to tell them to do their chores

The more you run the risk of being ignored

If you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you

You tell them that they're good kids

But you know that it's not true

Your father drank a little

You're on liver number two

Progress has a way of feigning ease

Convenient new inventions bait the tease

For, though it is impossible to cure

A husband bent on cheating

The oxygen's depleting

A child who's always bragging

A wife's persistent nagging

We're equipped to live as though it were

If you're lucky they'll turn out as good as you

You tell them that they're good kids

But you know that it's not true

Your father drank a little

You're on liver number two