Piggy Pie (Old School)

Once upon a time there were three little pigs Who went out into the big world To build their homes and seek their fortunes The first little piggy, his house is made of wood He lives in a chicken turkey piggy neighborhood He likes to fuck his sister and drink his moonshine A typical redneck filthy fuckin' swine I rode into town with my axe in my holster Everybody knows about the wicked piggy boaster The sherrif at the border, he tried to take me out I drew my axe with the quickness and cut his Adam's apple out Walked in the village and to the piggy's place He opened up his door and shot me in the face It blew me off the porch and blew my head in half But I'm a Juggalo, so it only made me laugh Axe in hand, I rose like the dead And swung with all my might, made a thump noise in his head Since we out west, I grabbed a shotgun And blew his fuckin tounge, out the back of his cranium Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie There's nothing like a sound, when you hear a piggy die I might choose a gun, I might choose an axe The Carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks The second little piggy, his house is made of brick And this little piggy is a mother fuckin' dick He lays down his rules and reads you your rights In that funny lookin' car with the little blinkin' lights I drive a Volkswagon Bug, seventeen deep Packed fulla Juggalos, lights out and we creep To the piggy station and lay on the horn First piggy out, we blow his lungs out his uniform Now they in pursuit, like Starski and Hutch But there's only two of them, the rest are out to lunch They call up Dunkon Doughnuts to gather up the rest Twenty five piggies with their bulletproof vests We lead them on a chase, they bustin' off rounds But now they all fucked, 'cuz we at the Carney grounds And they gettin' swallowed by their very on greed Dark Carnival and wicked clowns, 'cuz we need Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie There's nothing like a sound, when you hear a piggy die I might choose a gun, I might choose an axe The Carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie There's nothing like a sound, when you hear a piggy die I might choose a gun, I might choose an axe The Carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks The last little piggy, his house is made of gold He lives in a mansion on his own private road I started walking down it, the guard he told me wait I snapped his fuckin' neck in two and slammed his nuts in the gate 'Cuz this little piggy must definitely die [Incomprehensible] off and toss it in the sky And then I watch the moon take the form of the devil And pull it out the sky and beat it with a shovel People in my city, they fightin' for their meals He sleeps on a matress, stuffed with hundred dollar bills A Richey is the devil, he never will admit it So I'mma cut his hand off and slap his face wit' it Opened up his door, he sleeping in his bed I grabbed a brick of gold and smacked it upside his head He begged for his life, I told him it's too late And tied his neck in a knot and watch him suffocate 'cuz I need Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie There's nothing like a sound, when you hear a piggy die I might choose a gun, I might choose an axe The Carnival's in town, come and get your piggy snacks ...