To Catch a Predator

I'm on the internet, posing as a little girl I'm trying to lure evil into my world I tell 'em that I'm curious, and I'm only twelve Mom and dad are gone for the day, I'm by myself, urgh! Buckets that I throw up are next to my computer Hoping that they show up, 'cause what I'm about to do to 'em Would make the Devil sick, I sharpen my blade Fronting to this perv like I'm only in the seventh grade The doorbell rings, I gotta get him inside In my best little girl's voice, I'm like, "Hi! Come on in! I'm putting on my bikini!" Huh, and when the door shuts, that's when I let 'em see me "Hi there," I stab 'em in the neck first 'Cause it hurts, get 'em where the blood squirts Carve his whole face off and make him eat it Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bleeding I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (to catch a predator) And it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (to catch a predator) Soon enough, feds will be shutting down my service 'Cause people out there, think they don't deserve this (ha) Until it's your kid an old man's finger fucking Titty sucking, then you want the knife stuck in I don't blame you, that's why I catch 'em in advance While his dick is still in his pants, they never get the chance I tell 'em I'm alone and I'm only thirteen "Looking for a good time, you know what I mean?" Bring me some Funyuns and a Slurpee "Promise not to hurt me, or give me Herpes" And within twenty minutes, here comes a fucking doctor Knocking on my door, a pedophile butt-knocker "Come in, have a seat," and then I stroll in With the all-purpose hunting blade straight up his colon I cut his hands off, he ain't touching nobody Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bloody Wait, please, mister clown, sir, you don't have to do- Zip it! Wait, please! I've got money, we can- Shut it, fucker! Please we can work this out! Silence, I said! Stick him next to this other fool, both left for dead Every time I walk by him, I punch him in the head Cut they fucking dicks off, stick 'em in each others mouths Now what y'all talking about? I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (to catch a predator) And it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (to catch a predator) What's in the bag? Funyuns and condoms What's in the bag? Funyuns and condoms What's in the bag? Funyuns and condoms Why did you bring condoms? I didn't mean to! The house is getting funky, bodies in the basement, stinking What the fuck am I thinking? I put my face paint on, go downstairs and Beat they ass sometimes 'Cause it ease my mind Some of them are dead, and some are still living But I'ma hurt 'em every chance that I'm given I hit 'em with the nail gun, or the stun gun They can't run, so they both mad fun I was sawing a head off when I heard the doorbell I'm not expecting any predators, but oh well I took my spot, "Come in, I'll be right there!" But I left a head sitting on the living room chair He seen it and ran, I had to give chase We cut across the lawn with my knife swinging for his face I threw it, stuck him in the back of the neck Still in my drawers, I dragged him home a bloody wreck "Ah! Somebody, anybody!" "Zip it!" "Stop, please!" "Shut it the fuck up!" "Ah!" "People are looking, silence!" A bus full of high school kids watched it happen He kept screaming like a pansy despite my slapping Plus the neighbors seen it, and so did the mailman But they all never said nothin' 'bout it again I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (to catch a predator) And it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I'm prob'ly gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (to catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (to catch a predator) Yo! Liz! Meanwhile, back at the house Hey! Come on in! What kind of alcohol did you bring? I brought Absolute Citron, I brought Mandarin Orange, I brought a shot of Jägermeister Wow! In several cases, the men were asked to bring food, alcohol, and condoms Law enforcement says this helps show an intent to solicit a minor, what do we got here? A bag of Funyuns Funyuns? What about condoms? Did you bring condoms? (I did) You did?