Paddy McGinty's Goat

Now, Patrick McGinty, an Irishman of note Fell in for a fortune, and he bought himself a goat Says he, "Sure of goat's milk I'm going to have me fill!" But when he bought a nanny home, he found it was a Bill All the young ladies who live in Killaloe They're all wearing bustles like their mothers used to do They each wear a bolster beneath the petty coat And leave the rest to Providence and Paddy McGinty's goat! Mrs. Burke to her daughter said, "Listen, Mary Jane Who was the lad you were cuddling in the lane? He'd long wiry whiskers all hanging from his chin" "Twas only Pat McGinty's goat, " she answered with a grin Then she went away from the village in disgrace She came back with powder and paint upon her face She'd rings on her fingers, and she wore a sable coat You'd bet your life she didn't get those from Paddy McGinty's goat Now, Norah McCarthy, the knot was going to tie She washed all her trousseau and she hung it out to dry Along came the goat and he saw the bits of white And chewed up all her falderals upon her wedding night "Oh turn out the light quick!" she shouted out to Pat For though I'm your bride, sure I'm not worth looking at I'd had two of everything, I told you when I wrote But now I've one of nothing, all thro' Paddy McGinty's goat Mickey Riley, he went to the races t'other day He won 20 dollars and he shouted, "Hip Hooray!" He held up the note, shouting "Look what I've got!" The goat came up and grabbed it and he swallowed up the lot "He's eaten me banknote," said Mickey with the hump They ran for the doctor, and they got a stomach pump They pumped and they pumped for that 20 dollar note But all they got was ninepence out of Paddy McGinty's goat Now old Paddy's Goat had a wonderous appetite And one day for breakfast, he had some dynamite A whole box of matches he swallowed all serene Then out he went and swallowed up a quart of paraffin He sat by the fireside, he didn't give a hang He swallowed a spark and exploded with a bang So if you go to heaven, you can bet a dollar note That the Angel with the whiskers on is Paddy McGinty's Goat