Flash, Bang, Wallop!

All lined up in a wedding group 'Ere we are for a photograph We're all dressed up in a morning suit All trying hard not to laugh Since the early caveman in his fur Took a trip to Gretna Green There's always been a photographer To record the 'appy scene 'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph Poor old soul, blimey, what a joke Hat blown off in a cloud of smoke Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet Bangin' on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-pum-pum-pum Stick it in your fam'ly album The same thing 'appened long ago When man was in his prime And what went on we only know From the snaps he took at the time When Adam and Eve in their birthday suit decided to get wed As Adam was about to taste the fruit The man with the cam'ra said 'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph Poor old Eve, there with nothing on Face all red and 'er fig leaf gone Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet Bangin' on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-pum-pum-pum Stick it in your fam'ly album You've read it in a folio Or seen it in a Shakespeare play How Juliet fell for Romeo In the merry month of May And as 'e climbed the orchard wall to reach 'is lady fair As he tumbled, she began to bawl As he travelled through the air 'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph Poor young chap, what a night 'e spent Tights all torn and 'is rapier bent Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet Bangin' on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-pum-pum-pum Stick it in your fam'ly album 'Old it, flash, bang, wallop, what a picture What a picture, what a photograph Poor young chap, what a night 'e spent Tights all torn and 'is rapier bent Clap 'ands, stamp yer feet Bangin' on the big bass drum What a picture, what a picture Um-tiddly-um-pum-pum-pum-pum Stick it in your fam'ly album Stick it in your fam'ly Stick it in your fam'ly Stick it in your fam'ly album