Back to Me

Where do I begin Where do I begin Where do I begin Getting back to me Where do I begin Where do I begin Where do I begin Getting back to me Where do I begin Been left alone The darkest place I've been Don't know where to go I'm writing down my pain I call it home This book without a name I call my own I call my own Can't let 'em see what's in my head Silence fills the room with my regrets Lord I need your strength to stand again From walk to crawl I'm a crippled man I'm a crippled man But lord I try Been lost without you Been walkin' blind But the maps gettin' blurry Ex marks the spot That I made a change And I'm movin' on Cuz when darkness called I picked it up Lord forgive me for the mess Things were gettin' tough I don't mean to vent But it's all I got And every time I tried to call I'd hang it up I been haunted lately Honestly causin' pain that follows me Left me hollow I don't know how I got here I know that feelin' hollow Is the side effect of followin' The feelin' and dealin' with this pain And givin' in to my own fears So tell me now Matter of fact Better yet Show me how I don't mean to sound demanding But the pain is loud If I can't hear you Let me see you Let me feel you through the crowds I never thought I'd be the one to give up Give the world what it wants Maybe just once But it happened so fast that I got lost Thinkin' it's all-good I still believe in you Once a week seein' you So no worries right Yeah I mean I'm in no hurry right Yeah But they lied Mixin' anger with the pain I kept bottled inside Causin' issues I never knew that I had But I guess I gotta thank 'em Cuz through the pain I got to see who really cared It really showed me who was real and who was fakin' Now maybe I can smile When I'm lookin' in the mirror And that's real Where do I begin Where do I begin Where do I begin Getting back to me Where do I begin Where do I begin Where do I begin Getting back to me Where do I begin Been left alone The darkest place I've been Don't know where to go I'm writing down my pain I call it home This book without a name I call my own I call my own The simplest of thoughts bring the deepest of feelings Lonely nights make pain the realist My book is covered up in unknown thoughts Cuz those pages get ripped out and tossed I've been in this place for so long It feels like I don't know who I am Thinkin' about all the pain that I caused So Lord let me trust in your plan My pride got the best of me Tried to take over everything Telling me this is what's best for me I couldn't tell you why I let it get to me But I did I lost sight of my blessings I guess that's the lesson please Let me back in I'm in need of your grace All these obstacles that I've been dealin' with Got my life feelin' like the amazing race They say the struggle and hustle is what it's all about But that's the problem 'cuz I'm lost in my fears and doubts I got wrapped up in the world's selfish cloud Now I'm wonderin' how to get out Cuz all of these people around me tellin' me things Like how I should feel And how I should deal With issues and all of the pain But I never meant to Really neglect you I been talkin' to students And not the professor Thinkin' that they've been through it Like they might know better That's like predicting the weather If I had just opened my book and read it I'd be prepared for the lesson Like I came with paper But no number two pencil Where do I begin Where do I begin Where do I begin Getting back to me Where do I begin Where do I begin Where do I begin Getting back to me Where do I begin Been left alone The darkest place I've been Don't know where to go I'm writing down my pain I call it home This book without a name I call my own I call my own Where do I begin No no, no no Where do I begin Where do I begin Where do I begin Getting back to me Where do I begin Been left alone The darkest place I've been Don't know where to go I'm writing down my pain I call it home This book without a name I call my own I call my own