The Legend of Shaved Dog's Ass

He walked into the squadron in the summer of '02 And since that time we've never been the same This wingman who would soon become a legend in his time He never spoke so no one knew his name But after his arrival there was never an empty keg And always a fresh new batch of corn And the coffee was the best that your lips would ever taste And the shitter was always filled with porn And he rode into battle with his back against the sun And he saved us all for we knew he was the one And his name was Shaved Dog's Ass The greatest of wingmen was he He only said, "2", "lead you're on fire" And "save the fat one for me" We soon went off to war and the fighting was intense The enemy snuck up from the hills He always got the tally first but never did he shoot Just sat back as flight leads got the kills He never would complain when lead would fuck him over The thought never even crossed his mind Sixty-nine times they notched press at night, lights Out, no moon Shaved Dog's Ass, not once he did go blind And he rode into battle with his back against the sun And he saved us all for we knew he was the one And his name was Shaved Dog's Ass The greatest of wingmen was he He only said, "2", "lead you're on fire" And "save the fat one for me" With victory secured we set out on the town To celebrate this war's final end And we came upon some ladies who were looking for heroes But only if we had one for their friend She stood six feet four, three hundred pounds - more Facial hair than me You could say she was a football coach's dream And we all jumped back in horror as we started to abort Shaved Dog's Ass stood up and took one for the team And he rode into battle with his back against the sun And he saved us all for we knew he was the one That was the last we ever saw of the world's greatest Wingman I'd like to think he's watching us from above Or maybe he's just sitting on some tropical island He and Sasquatch happily in love And I think about him often as I'm eating shitty corn And the coffee is burnt to the glass So to all you wingman out there who are looking to be The best Just heed the lesson of the legend of Shaved Dog's Ass And he rode into battle with his back against the sun And he saved us all for we knew he was the one And his name was Shaved Dog's Ass The greatest of wingmen was he He only said, "2", "lead you're on fire" And "save the fat one for me"