Defiant

So little has been uplifting me I cannot take any more Somethings gone wrong with my history A fragrance that I never wore Jealousy will not stop kissing me She takes over when she likes I promise that I will get better but I need something newer in my sights oh Isolations the name Overthinking's the game Yes I know I can change But I need a new portrait I need a new frame Fresh outta options I can't stop it Got so much weighing in my conscience I don't know where my head is at There's parts of me I can't get back oh yeah If I knew myself any better I'd be able to keep my head up I don't know what I'm doing here Reality is not so clear Oh yeah What do I do What do I choose The more I play the more I lose Why Why Tell me what can I say What can I do It's so damn hard I'm so confused Not myself on monday Angry on tuesday Wednesday is harder Thursday is useless Friday is better Saturday I can be more like myself But on Sunday I'm frightened Senses as heightened But lord knows I'm trying Not to be defiant I don't know where my head is at There's parts of me I can't get back Yeah I got nerve like a motherfucker I do not run from my l's Pray that my ego does not recover Cuz she don't take them l's too well Said that I wanna start over These patterns are getting too old I wanna feel lucky like clovers Have conversation with my soul ooh More things change they're the same I refuse to be claimed Emotionally drained But I need a new mantra New rules to obey Fresh outta options I can't stop it Got so much weighing in my conscience Doesn't really matter now I always find a way somehow To be okay If I knew myself any better I'd be able to keep my head up Don't know where my head is at There's parts of me I can't get back Oh Why why why