Simp Detector

Well ma'am, the lab results came back and This is hard to say but Your son tested highly on our simp scale Oh goodness gracious But doctor, what does it even mean to be a simp? Well son, allow me to explain If you're only being nice 'Cause you wanna lay the pipe You're a simp You're a simp, you're a simp When you pay for all the clothes And then she says, "Thank you, bro" You're a simp You're a simp, you're a simp You're a simp, you're a simp No you've never been a pimp You're a simp You're a simp, you're a simp Got no game, you's a lame And that's why we ran a train on your bitch You're a simp, you're a simp Ayy, but don't worry kid There's no need to stress 'Cause I know a way to make these hoes obsessed You're trying too hard, this shit ain't complex All you gotta do is just follow these steps Don't cry like a bitch when she leaves you on read Just focus on getting some money instead When you pull up on her and flexing some bread In a matter of moments, her legs will be spread Once you get some cash, then work on your drip You can't pull no hoes in that basic ass fit Just cop you some ice to put on your wrist And take of those cargo shorts, they look like shit While we're on the topic, your hair needs some help 'Cause right now it looks like you cut it yourself You better not pull up if you got a bowl cut 'Cause they gon' be laughing like, "What, are you twelve?" Just one more step and then you'll be done This battle's over, your war is won You'll soon be proud of what you've become Just listen up for rule number one If you're tryna smash don't beg and plead She won't let you fuck if you're on your knees Stand up strong, don't be so weak It ain't even hard, repeat after me No, I won't do your homework just 'cause you hate math And I'm not giving you a ride to your big date with Chad Don't put pussy up on a pedestal, 'cause that shit is lame And for any guy that does, I've got one thing left to say You're a simp, you're a simp No, you've never been a pimp You're a simp You're a simp, you're a simp Got no game, you's a lame And that's why we ran a train on your bitch You're a simp, you're a simp Oh my goodness, doctor I never knew I could have so many bitches on my dick You're my hero I'm just doing my job, son