Tired

I was once young and dumb, I'm still young but you get it It feels like I don't live out my dreams It seems like that shit's forbidden When I was lost, I was hurting, trying to get by wasn't working I was screaming for help Guess nobody heard me, I fell on my knees Asking God for some mercy Don't think he heard me at all Told me he was everywhere But I don't think he's been near me ever I'm trying to be patient and wait with a smile on my face But too many feelings involved I want to believe, but I'm hurting How could I believe he chose me Judge if you want, ain't got too many friends I didn't listen, that's why I'm lonely Now I'm fourteen and counting Nothing's better than what it was I'm hurting inside, I'm crying inside I'm dying inside, I'm trying to be what everyone wants to see But it's harder than it looks Are y'all real or fake? Cause all y'all did was steal and take I can't handle my emotions It's just too much commotion I remember back when I was happy Just like you are now I wish I felt the same But all I feel is pain Never taken seriously Always told I was faking No matter how many cuts there were Y'all would say, oh he's doing it for clout Oh he's faking, oh he wants attention I fear the day that I die I got tears running down my face Twenty goddamn seven Some days I wish the pain would end It seems to be a trend nowadays It's been several years since I've been fine Never really had someone to call mine And I'm tired of feeling this way I don't know what to do no more Don't wanna be broken no more Don't know who to trust no more Don't trust anyone no more I'm trying to restart I'm trying to feel better But it's not working I'm tired of searching for God's help When he's nowhere near I'm tired of lying I'm tired of trying I'm tired of crying I don't know if I'm going to hell Don't know who to tell I feel like I need to yell just to get my point across