Sincerly, Your Son

Yeah, where do I start? Feel like I'm losing myself I know I am messed up inside But how am I wrong for refusing to help? I feel like it can't be fixed Maybe I am stuck in the dark I just don't think all the pills can fix the pain in my heart So I guess it is pointless I lay in the dark in my sorrow, today I just gave it my all But there isn't enough for tomorrow Because I am tired of the pain, I am tired of fighting Just tell me what it is worth To give my all to these people, for me to be selfless? Just to be filled with this hurt What is the point? 'Cause I cannot see anymore I feel like there is no point in living my life 'Cause I am not me anymore And they say it gets better, but it's been forever So I don't think I believe it It properly gets better with time, but I won't be here to see it But please don't be mad It's not that I am weak, I am just tired I wish that my heart wasn't broken 'Cause then I could work on my mind But life isn't fair I know, and not being happy is killing me I try to be vocal, they listen But I don't think that you're hearing me I hate that I am broken I hate that I am stupid I hate that I fell like a mistake I hate when I am talking to God I feel like he don't listen in times when I pray I hate that I look in the mirror And I hate the man lookin' back I hate that I am so insecure I just wish you'd understand Mama if you listen, please don't be mad I know what I am doing ain't right Your son isn't perfect I am not a fighter, I want you to know that I tried I want you to know that I love you But lately, I don't feel like me It was nothing that you did, you did what you could It's something that is wrong with me Since I was young, I've always felt like this I never thought that I belonged And this isn't because I am depressed It's 'cause I feel so alone It's 'cause I feel like a burden I am always living with grief I've always felt like the problem, and that's why everyone leaves But really, I'm sorry, I know you wanted what's best for me The world has been taking my soul But I leave you everything left in me I love you forever and always To the moment that you know I am gone That moment is sooner than later I love you, sincerely your son