Hard on Equipment (Tool for the Job)

He's been roundin' off bolts since the age of fourteen Was that a five eighths or a nine sixteenths? He's got a metric socket that don't quite fit Well it'll wiggle just a little but it ain't quite stripped The safety guard's gone from his grinding machine He got a stiff paint brush he only kinda got clean He's the hired man, my neighbor and a cousin in law He's a jerry riggin' fool, he got the tool for the job Well it's vise grips for pliers, and pliers for a wrench A wrench for a hammer, hammers everything else It just don't seem to make much difference I sure do like him but he's hard on equipment I sure like you son, but you're hard on equipment His corners ain't square and his floor ain't level And he's always had trouble with the old tape measure His doors don't close 'cause the jamb ain't plumb And he's a Goddamn menace with an air nail gun They love to see him comin' at the lumberyard store Fixed the leak in his roof with a two by four Drilled holes in his boards with the wrong kinda bit And when they don't line up he blames the government He got the whole front yard full of fix 'em up cars Three don't run and the rest won't start Everything's fine with his rebuilt motor Except of course for the couple spare parts left over Baler wire tie downs goin' down the road On two bald tires and an oversize load He ain't never read a manual 'cause that's like cheatin' He don't mind a little grease on his hands while he's eatin' He's got busted up knuckles, his thumb got bruised Jesus Christ was a carpenter, too