The Abyss

Uh, everything I did, I always gave my best I don't know if anyone relates but the feelin' that I get, it's like a truck sittin' on my chest Wonderin', how much do I got left? My last call, my last step I'm not gonna wait just to see what's next I go hard 'cause today could be my last breath We do life, and we can't relive it (can't relive it) We only get one chance, if you blink then you might just miss it (I swear you'll miss it) Many people come and go, they all just visit Don't ever expect nothin' different Just listen as I paint this image that you'll all revisit Yeah, my glass half empty, but I still might sip it I was traumatized What would you've said when you was lookin' in my mama's eyes? Yeah, nothin' Yeah, I might've said I was okay, but I probably lied, yeah So this pain is how I harmonize Make an impact, that's what I personify Yes, I'm makin' music that you cannot just define by the numbers on my Spotify All of this pain, I just wanna be happy Mom almost died the same day that she had me Drivin' to the hospital, she swerved and crashed badly Doctor said I was a miracle while lookin' at my daddy I was zero when I first dodged death I was six when the devil told me to watch my step Couldn't sleep, I was scared to go inside my bed Fightin' demons, I was hearin' things inside my head So back to the doctor, he didn't have a diagnosis So my whole damn life I felt lost while fightin' psychosis Talkin' to myself, hopin' nobody would notice Mom said, pray every time I heard the voices Life or death, everyday I swear I made choices (I made choices, man) Life in my hand tryin' not to lose focus, playin' basketball religiously to drown out the noise Let me explain that it's like layin' on train tracks Grabbin' guns, contemplatin' blowin' your brain back Eyes closed shut, watchin' everythin' fade black People steppin' over you, you feel like a place mat, fuck And let me make it clear God is the only one that I've ever feared But you start to get paranoid and look over your shoulder When these people have been hurtin' you for so many years So I had to escape If you're listenin', I know that you relate It's that feelin' that you get like your life and existence was all just one big mistake I felt trapped and I couldn't find space I went and got lost in the things I create Ever since I was a kid, people hated, and they judged everything that I did So I went into my mind and created the abyss Man, I swear I did it How the hell y'all think I make all these hits? It's 'cause I've been broken, beaten, dragged, laughed at, scorned, burned and kicked So I get to reach in this endless pit of hurt and pain from all that shit And that's the only reason that you people come here Or, for God's sake, even know that Dax exists This how it feels to drown This is how it looks when you're lost, and you can't be found The abyss was a place I'd visit, but I went so much that I'm gone, and I'm stuck here now This is not music, this is not dope (help me) This is me beggin' y'all to throw me a rope (help me!) So I can try to climb out the place where I came in my life when I spiraled and first lost hope Let me explain I've been Dax so long, I get PTSD when somebody says my real name But I guess that's the price you pay I didn't want it to be like this But I guess it is what it is inside the abyss